Jeep/Hakkai ficlet of wrongness

[louiselux]

Dear lord my hangover is appalling and is possibly to blame for this. emungere is evil brought the idea up. So, what if Ni was a slasher? It's canon that he writes erotica, anyway, right? As I said before, I make my own fun.



Houtou castle was deserted when they finally got there.

'Look, here are Ni's papers,' Hakkai said. 'There might be important information.' He flipped open the leather folder marked Sanzo-Ikkou.

'"Dragon Love, by Ni Jianyi"' read Hakkai, aloud. '"Jeep's door gaped open invitingly and the tall, green-eyed youkai slid his lithe form into the firm, taut leather of Jeep's driving seat. "Are you ready to go?" Cho Hakkai said, stroking Jeep's trembling gear stick. He wasn't prepared to take no for an answer, and so with a cruel flick of his powerful fingers he fired up Jeep's engine and thrust down the accelerator pedal to the floor, making Jeep squeal. Vibrations from his throbbing engine shuddered through them both. "Let's ride," Hakkai hissed."'

Hakkai stopped. 'Oh.'

The others stood silent. Gojyo was biting his lips together, his eyes fixed on the floor. Sanzo had hidden his face behind his fan and his shoulders were shaking.

'This man clearly needs to die,' Hakkai said in firm tones.

They nodded solemnly.

'Good story. So, what happens next?' said Goku.

Jeep bit him.

Comments

[fleurrochard]

*dies giggling*

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks:-)

[blu-mondae.livejournal.com]

This had me laughing out loud.

I can totally see Ni as an RPS-er.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

He would, and he'd write the really scary pairings.

Thanks!

[nekonexus.livejournal.com]

... so wrong... so funny! *snorfle* ^_^;;

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad you liked it!

[nightfallrising.livejournal.com]

...I'm with Sanzo. XD

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

It can only get wronger. Poor Sanzo. XD

[kintail.livejournal.com]

*bwahaha* Ahem.

Ouch, poor Hakkai. That'll teach him about reading something out loud before skimming it over first.

Have you read karotsamused's take on Jeep/Hakkai (http://www.livejournal.com/users/karotsamused/22989.html)?

*~_^*;;

>.< reposted due to inability to manage html on first try before coffee.

[baka-gaijin.livejournal.com]

~ shivers ~

Oh, I took your little fic very seriously. And you are actually to blame for me being lured over to the dark side of dragon sex.... whether it's Hakuryu or Goujun.

And I thank you for it. XD

[faemovana.livejournal.com]

BWHAHAHAHA!

I second Goku! What happens next? :P

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Oh, you know, a simple, everyday tale of hot youkai/jeep lovin'. Hakkai fumbles the wind screen wipers at the crucial moment!

Glad you liked it.

[yukie1013.livejournal.com]

*cackleDOOOM*

And Nii WOULD.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Ni likes to relax of an evening with a steamy bodice robe ripper. That's he's written.

XD

[weyrlady.livejournal.com]

*dies laughing* Utterly brilliant!

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks! *g*

[scribblemoose]

*falls over laughing*

Superb. ^___^ You should get hungover more often if this is what happens. Although, hope you feel better soon. :)

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks:-) The alcohol fumes have boiled away now, mostly. Writing crack!fic helps.

[wildelamassu.livejournal.com]

*cackles*

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Hehehe!

Thanks.

[aqua-eyes.livejournal.com]

:pmsl:

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha!

Does that translate as 'pissing myself laughing?' or something like that? *is ignorant*

[cicer.livejournal.com]

*shrieks with laughter*

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Hee!

Thanks.

[emungere.livejournal.com]

*still giggling* Dragon Love! Heeee.

'This man clearly needs to die.' Hakkai said in firm tones.

Poor Hakkai. Though I bet Sanzo won't be laughing after they find the stuff about him. *snerk*

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Hakkai didn't take the laughter well.

'Oh, look! There's more. Listen to this, Sanzo. It's quite fascinating: "From Here to Eternity by Ni Jianyi, a Bodice Robe Ripper in 105 parts. Part One: When Sanzos Go Bad."'

'The pervert! I'll kill him. Don’t you dare - '

'"Genjyo Sanzo stroked his hands over his skin tight leather shirt in an unmistakeable gesture of arousal. His silky blond hair fell seductively over his smooth, porcelain-pure skin as he dropped to his knees in front of the tall half-youkai. 'Come on and show me what you can do, big boy,' he whispered... "'

Hakkai only just managed to dodge the thunderous hail of bullets.

'Can I have a copy of that?' whispered Gojyo, afterwards.

[baka-gaijin.livejournal.com]

~ cough ~

My Contribution (http://www.livejournal.com/users/baka_gaijin/48949.html#cutid1) to the jeep sex thing.

~ cough ~

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Yay! You will give in to the Dark Side. XD

[tj-dragonblade.livejournal.com]

(headdesks)

(follows Sanzo's lead)

(agrees with Hakkai)

Nii, I love you.

This is priceless in its wrong-ness. Though I think that truly, the last line is the best.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Hee! Ni says thanks.

[aramuin.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHAHAHA!

*Falls over laughing*

Oh, that is wonderful!

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Hee heee! Thanks.

[tochira.livejournal.com]

*facedesk* AHAHAHA.

You are a dangerous person, you know that? don't stop now!

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

It's all Ni's fault. He's probably working on his scary 42 part Gojyo/Hakkai/Kanan PWP epic as we speak.

Actually, now I want to read that.

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

The punchline. Hee!

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Poor Jeep. I think he just wanted Hakkai to read it out in private.

XD

[menuriko.livejournal.com]

Ah, poor boys. Bad Nii. Bad, bad Nii. And Goku so innocent. (Are you sure he is? ^_~)

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Hehe. No, he's not so innocent I think;-)

[cygny.livejournal.com]

Hahaaaa, so funny :)

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Yay, thanks:D

[hungry-worm.livejournal.com]

XD!!!!

Oh my gawd that was so perfect. Nearly killed me laughing!

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked the wrongness:-D

[permetaform]

THIS IS BEAUTIFUL! XD

[lisa-bee.livejournal.com]

'This man clearly needs to die.' Hakkai said in firm tones.

*dead laughing*

[wedjateye.livejournal.com]

Jeep's trembling gear stick had me in stitches.

(I wasn't sure whether the use of 'taught' instead of taut was deliberate?)

[zelgadis55.livejournal.com]

Scary idea but fun to read *snicker*
Thanks for sharing!