Jesus saves through hooking up with cute heathen guys!

[louiselux]

No, really, he does. Or at least that's what it says on Dating to Save People from Hell, with its handy dating tips. I seriously misunderstood dating tip number 7, and I still can't decide if it's all a joke or not. Someone might easily be that demented...

***

In other news, thank you to whoever sent me the virtual chocolates! And also thank you to the anonymous and non-anonymous people who left messages on my valentinr, because they were all lovely. Thanks especially for the Emily Dickinson poem, whoever you are, because I've never read it before and it is very very beautiful and affecting in all sort of ways.

Comments

[ajodasso.livejournal.com]

And OMGWTF the Jesus/Judas cartoon? Bwaha!

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

I know! It was just a peck on the cheek dammit! I love the Flaming Bible of Hot.

[lydia-petze.livejournal.com]

Why is the Bible on fire?

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Because Jesus is very very hot, especially when he comes inside your heart!

[daegaer.livejournal.com]

Remember, God made you hot! And though you may dump your heathen beau, God never will. Also, God can afford better restaurants.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Right! And you'll never catch an STD from God either. The condoms of the lord never split.

my brain hurts now

[ajodasso.livejournal.com]

The Lord uses condoms?

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

I can't say. I never slept with him.

[toscas-kiss.livejournal.com]

But if you go out with the Holy Spirit you don't need to use condoms at all! (though according to the documentation he can get you pregnant either way...what a lousy date)

[toscas-kiss.livejournal.com]

Oh my gods [runs screaming]

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Run quickly, before Jesus comes!

[emungere.livejournal.com]

Who would Jesus do! Yes, isn't that the eternal question? I think it ought to be Pilate, personally, but maybe he didn't like Jesus' heart kink.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

I often ask myself that very question!

Hehehe. You would be the one to know about heart kinks. I think Jesus is your boyfriend.

[cicer.livejournal.com]

BWAHAHA! I'm pretty sure that's a joke, just because so many of the things seem to be double-entendres. But who knows, it could be serious. Eek. But hee, I misunderstood number seven, too. Too much porn, maybe? But what else does 'come inside' mean! *expires*

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Right! It must be too much porn that has sullied our minds. Oh noes, we will burn in hell.

[kanzenhanzai.livejournal.com]

Oh. Wow. She's either hilarious or insane, I can't tell which!

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Me either. It's alarming.

[wedjateye.livejournal.com]

Who Would Jesus Do sounds like a great dinner party game. Or a great conversation for after you hot beloved has held your bible and come inside...

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

The dinner party game of doom!