Saiyuki fic: Heart of Darkness

[louiselux]

Title: Heart of Darkness
Fandom: Saiyuki
Pairing: Ni/Gojyo (implied Gojyo/Hakkai)
Warnings: not worksafe, some m/m, Ni, some weirdness
Notes: thanks to emungere, my dearly loved enabler, and to new_kate for beta and encouragement. I always think of this story as 'the end of Ni'. I don't know what prompted me to write it, just that I've been thinking about him recently. Any concrit and feedback would be much appreciated.

Summary: Houtou castle is under attack. Ni has a prisoner in his lab.






"Are you awake?" Ni said.

He looked down into the calm and still sleeping face.

Sha Gojyo was very pretty, almost beautiful in a guy kind of way, even after the constant battering he'd taken during his trip west. Ni leaned down, so that his mouth was just an inch from Gojyo's pale and dry lips.

"Constant battering," Ni said, thoughtfully, staring down. Gojyo's eyes were beginning to move under their pale, blue-veined lids. "That must really hurt after a while."

Ni enjoyed himself for a little while, running his hands wherever he wanted, across strong and healthy muscle and bone, callused feet, hard-worn hands with their broken nails and long fingers. Gojyo lay still, breathing heavily, barely twitching. He wasn't waking up as quickly as Ni wanted.

He picked up Gojyo's drinking bottle and trickled a thin stream of water onto Gojyo's face, where it dripped like tears over the elegant curve of his cheek.

"Don't cry," Ni, said, softly. "There's very little point. Mama's long dead."

"Whuu," Gojyo said, his smooth brow wrinkling, the brow of a young and healthy man. Ni stroked it and thought about the shallow fissures in Koumyou's skin. He'd had two that ran in straight lines across his forehead. The effect had been almost comical when he'd frowned. He'd frowned often at Ni, as much as he'd smiled. He traced the line of Gojyo's jaw. Sha Gojyo had a face shaped by laughter and generosity and love, all pouring out of that frightened and love-starved little boy's spirit.

He also had sharp incisors and a slightly longer than average tongue, which was a fascinating thought. Perhaps he'd put it to good use on Genjyo Sanzo. No, because then the monk might be a little more cheerful.

Ni watched the tip of it move behind the cage of his teeth, as if trying to form words. The long and sinuous muscles of Gojyo's arms flexed as he pulled against the leather straps at his wrists. His penis lay thick and soft in a patch of dark hair, much darker than that on his head.

Ni drew up a stool and perched on it to watch; he'd already made all the notes he was ever going to need. The lights flickered briefly and he wondered how long it might take them to cut the power supply. Hours, probably. The generators were housed in the rocky foundations of Houtou.

"So, we have some time," Ni said. "Together."

Gojyo opened his eyes, just slits at first, so that his ruby eyes glittered. They were sharp and watchful straight away, like the eyes of a hawk.

"Ni Jyanyi," Gojyo said. "You sick fuck."

"Says the man who lovingly plays older brother to Seiten Tasei."

The muscles in Gojyo's arms bunched properly now, his hands coming into fists and straining against the leather "Damn you," he groaned. He was still pulling at his bonds. "Shit. I'm in Houtou?"

"No need to get annoyed," Ni said. "Your friends are no doubt tearing the castle to its component parts as we speak. Looking high and low for you. I'm sure they are." He paused. "Aren't they?"

Sha Gojyo's eyes opened wider, wary and uncertain, but his lips curled in a sexy and cocksure smile. He really was madly desirable. "They'll kill you."

Ni leaned forwards on his stool and ran a slow hand up Gojyo's thigh, stopping just as he got to the smooth and hairless skin at the top. He smiled as Gojyo's wide eyes locked with his. He rested his hand there, letting Gojyo feel the weight of it. "Yes," Ni said, "but won't it be a good way to go?"

"If you touch me I'll kill you."

"That's just not logical, is it? I am touching you, and I'm not dead because you're all tied up." He smiled. "But then, you never were the bright one, were you?"

"You're a fucking moron."

"Aha. You might be right there, Gojyo." He wondered if Koumyou had felt like this when he'd accused him of such things – amused and somewhat chagrined at the same time. He stood up and fetched a capsule of muscle relaxant, fitting it into a clean syringe.

"What are you doing?" Fear pervaded Gojyo's voice now, just a little. He was trying to hide it, and doing so very bravely. Ni approved. Prince Kougaiji had shown a similar level of bravado, at first.

"This'll make it easier for you."

"Make what easier, jerkface?"

Shades of panic plastered over with real indignation. Ni was starting to like him.

"Tell me, did you ever sleep with your brother?"

"You're sick," Gojyo muttered.

Ni grinned. "Well, yes. I'm not the only one though. That question didn't shock you at all, did it?"

Gojyo stared at him, a baleful red glare that flared when Ni stuck the needle into his arm. He flinched and bucked on the table, so hard that the table legs scraped on the floor.

"What are you doing?" he ground out, and he bared his teeth.

"I just want to talk to you." The drug was made from the venom of a species of scorpion found only in the desert regions of Gandhara. It was already causing Gojyo's eyelids to droop.

"What about?" Gojyo said, sounding calm now. "I don't wanna talk to you." He drew in a deep breath. "They'll still kill you, whatever you do to me."

Ni undid the wrist and ankle cuffs and helped Gojyo to his feet. Gojyo leaned on him heavily and groaned as Ni led him to the far end of the laboratory. There was a screen there, and behind it was a low wide divan. Ni liked to sleep there if the Jade Faced Princess didn't want him. She would never want him again, now, and that was a shame. He helped Gojyo to sit, then, when Gojyo wound his arms round Ni's neck, helped him lie down. Gojyo's warm breath shivered against Ni's cheek and he moaned a little.

"We'll be more comfortable here," Ni said.

"I could still kill you."

"The drug has the useful side effect of suppressing your qi," Ni said. "So you won't be able to slice me up."

Ni sat on the edge of the bed and took off his shirt. "What you don't understand," he began, then got involved in watching a sheen of sweat break out on Gojyo's lithe torso. The hum of the lab's electrical systems dropped in tone, as if someone was tampering with it. A black tinge of fury washed at the edges of his thoughts and he tapped it back down. "Is that I want to die."

"We can help you with that," Gojyo said, and he was still trying to use that rake's smile. It held a far more dreamy tinge now, though. Ni leaned over and checked the dilation of Gojyo's pupils. They were wide and dark. Gojyo caught his wrist in a loose grip. His long and elegant fingers still had power in them, even now. "Sanzo's gonna kick your ass back all the way to hell," he said, in his low and husky voice.

"And where do you think you'll be going, Sha Gojyo?" He shook Gojyo's hand away and pushed red strands from Gojyo's eyes. "Would you like to be my escort?"

Gojyo laughed, surprisingly, his chest falling and rising in short little breaths. "Haaa, that's funny."

"Why?"

"Uhhh." His brows drew together. "Can't remember right now."

Ni stood and took off his trousers and his underwear. The temperature was dropping in here. He walked naked to the screen and looked around it. The lights on Gyomaoh's monitoring equipment had gone out. It was no loss though. Gyomaoh's bulk had been dragged out and burnt weeks ago. It'd been stinking the place up terribly. Gyokumen had not taken it well. He walked back to the divan, and to Gojyo. He was spread out, his golden skin dimpled with goosebumps, limbs relaxed and heavy.

He coughed a little when Gojyo's hand rose up and closed around his throat.

"Naughty boy," he said, taking Gojyo's hand in his own and pulling it away.

"Are you cold?" Ni said. "It's getting rather chilly." He lowered himself down next to Gojyo and pulled the blanket over them both. Gojyo shivered as Ni ran his hand down over Gojyo's bare chest, a delicious tremor that shook his body. Ni traced over an old scar near his heart.

"How did you get this?"

"Some stupid seed-firing demon doll."

"How adorable." He slid his hand further, over the hard and hungry stomach and down to where coarse wiry hair began to grow. The base of Sha Gojyo's penis was thickening. Ni ran his fingertips around it, feeling the pulse of hot blood, the life force. He closed his eyes briefly and saw Goudai Sanzo's stern face and Koumyou's blank and closed expression, turned his way and yet somehow never reachable.

"I'll see you again," he said, then smiled to himself. How pathetic he still was about that man, even now.

"What did you say?" Gojyo said.

"Nothing." He squeezed tighter and pressed closer, soaking up warmth.

"Yo. Don't do older guys." His voice was faint.

"Ah, no brothers or sugar daddies for Sha Gojyo?" Ni propped his head on his hand and leaned over Gojyo's face, throwing it into shadow. He slid his leg over Gojyo's and rubbed himself up against his thigh. "This is tragic news."

"Fuck you."

Ni kissed him, pressing his tongue between unresisting lips until Gojyo made a soft noise.

"Tell me, Gojyo. What is it you want most from life?" Gojyo's balls were cool and soft. He stroked them, letting his fingers play over the curves. "Children?"

"What?" His tone was soft and wondering. Confused. Maybe the dose had been too high.

"Do you want a family."

"I've got a family."

Ni kissed him again and stroked his cheek, running a nail across the scars. He left a red mark. "So you have." He kissed Gojyo again, making it gentle. In his head he already had images of Gojyo unresisting and moaning beneath him, face down and inviting, spread open and fucked and bitten and bruised. He stroked Gojyo's hair back again and laid a hand along his jaw, gently tipping his mouth up. He held Gojyo and touched him and laid soft kisses on his mouth, until Gojyo moaned and arched his neck, and Ni felt his lips soften and open. He was fully hard now, pulsing with heat in Ni's palm.

"So sweet. It's the gentle touch that you like?"

Gojyo's long eyelashes swept down, making two dark and spiky rims of shadow on his skin. A shaky breath came out, one that it was clear Gojyo was trying to control.

"Tell me." He touched Gojyo's temple. "The serum makes you suggestible too. You'll do anything I ask of you. So, is this how your handsome bitch-faced youkai killer gives it to you? Does he tease and stroke you like this?"

Gojyo made an incoherent sound. The muscles in his shoulders were tightening. He was still hard against Ni's palm, and getting harder. Ni smiled and gave some attention to the soft dip at the base of his neck. Gojyo's skin tasted good; salty and male.

"Or does he like to punish you for his poor sister's sake? Or for his own sake, perhaps?"

"What's wrong with you," Gojyo whispered, as Ni kissed along his jaw, then under, pressing his lips to the tender skin of his neck.

Ni laughed, perhaps too much. He leaned in and pressed his face into the warm crook of Gojyo's neck. From here he could see old shreds of foam stuffing on the floor near the wall, and a black button eye coated in dust. Over by his desk sat a cardboard box, with four sutras curled inside like snakes. The pull from it, aching and twisting, dark and light, was sickening. He was sure he could hear them moving together, slithering around in anticipation, the holy spells waiting for the moment of their completion. It was coming closer. Ni felt it like a steadily rising sun, rushing to bleach him out of existence with its scouring light, to blast him back to his component atoms.

"I'm easily bored," Ni said. "Do you let him fuck you? Or the other way round? I've always wondered." He twined a strand of hair around his finger and tugged gently. "I can see it going either way."

Gojyo turned his head with a jerking motion and got a hand on Ni's shoulder. The strain showed in his face, in the narrowing of his eyes and the jut of his jaw. He shoved at Ni. "Don't fucking talk about him."

"Because you like it too much," Ni said, in his ear. He took Gojyo in hand again and lightly stroked him, until Gojyo moaned and pushed up into his grip. "You want him," Ni whispered, watching a red flush creep up from Gojyo's chest to his neck. "You want him in you. You're so bad at hiding it, of course they all know. Do you think he wants you in turn, or does he just tolerate you because it's better than being alone?"

Gojyo's face flared and he turned his head away, breath coming in tiny gasps. He moved his legs, feet flat on the bed like he wanted to push up harder. "You don't know shit." It came out like a moan.

"He's a sexy beast," Ni said. "I think perhaps he's going to have you one day." He leaned down and kissed Gojyo, marvelling at the softness of his lips. He eased closer, so that Gojyo's hip was tight against his erection, the hard skin and bone there warm and smooth. He closed his eyes and saw dark and light, felt Koumyou's hand on his wrist like a shackle. It always seemed to be there.

"I don't get you," Gojyo said.

Ni studied him. "What do you mean?"

"Thought you'd have some trick up your sleeve. Instead you're just—You're jerking me off."

"Mmm. Ah, you're so nice to let me do this. I haven't been able to get it up for months, you know? You're so hot."

Gojyo turned his head and his mouth curled. "You're never gonna get it up again when I'm done."

His body was moving, the sinuous rocking of his hips putting the lie—some form of lie, anyway-- to his words.

"I'd like you to do me. I don't think we're going to have the time, though." He ran his fingertip around Gojyo's nipple.

"Fuck. What do you want?"

"I'm just getting to that."

"Just-- Ghh. Do it, if you're gonna."

Ni propped himself on one elbow and looked down. Gojyo stared up, his face softened in the dim light. The planes of his face gleamed with sweat. He'd suffered so much, it was probably kinder to just finish it.

"Do what, Gojyo?"

Gojyo licked his lips and shook his head. "You know. Kill me."

"Tsk. You shouldn't invite it. I thought you'd got past that stage long ago?"

Dim noises filtered through the walls, still faint. The walls were two feet thick down here, carved out of the mountain. The damp smell of rock and earth swirled in the air and the floor trembled.

Ni let go and sat up, then slid off the bed, hearing Gojyo's shocked breathing behind him. The floor was cold under his bare feet, but it wasn't far to his desk. The knife sat next to the cardboard box, its blade glinting. It had sigils carved into its yellowed bone handle. He'd had the blade sharpened in Houtou's armoury years ago, just at the time that Koumyou had been killed. The tears for that had never come, not like they had for Master Goudai. Perhaps he could weep in the next life, for someone else. It was likely.

He dared put his hand in the box. The Muten sutra slid into his palm reluctantly. He laid it over his shoulders and felt quieter inside; an insect poised at the edge of a vast an empty blackness.

He padded back to the bed through deepening shadows and dropped the knife onto Gojyo's stomach. The handle slapped faintly against his skin. The blade fell pointing to Gojyo's heart.

"Pick it up," Ni said, standing over him

Gojyo grabbed at it and drew it up to his chest. It jutted out, matching the rude pointing of his erection. It was starting to soften, away from Ni's attentions. Gojyo's muscle strength was coming back more quickly than Ni had anticipated. It would be useful to make a note, but what would be the point. Power gathered at the ends of his fingers. He could almost touch it. It felt familiar yet dangerous, like a trusted servant who was nevertheless plotting death.

"I never did understand you," he said to Koumyou, who was waiting, but Koumyou just smiled.

"What?" Gojyo said. He was inching back on the bed, dragging himself painfully. It was all so pointless.

"It doesn't matter. I'm just talking to myself."

He knelt on the divan and moved so he could straddle Gojyo's hips. The knife shook in Gojyo's hand. Gojyo closed his eyes for a long moment, then opened them. His pupils were contracting a little. It was possible to see the muddy green flecks in his eyes, like pond water. Ni stroked and teased and moved until Gojyo's penis was a rigid length that pressed up against his skin.

"Did you ever hear the legend of the youkai who bathed in the blood of a thousand humans?" Ni said. He ran both hands up Gojyo's chest now, his fingers spanning the high and full curve of his ribs. He touched dark pink nipples. This creature was so simple, its needs like those of an animal.

"No," Gojyo said, softly, warily. His hand clenched spasmodically on the handle of the knife. "I never heard that one."

"Hold it out. Straight up."

He caught Gojyo's gaze and then leaned down, closer and closer, until the tip of blade, kept sharp all these years, slid into his left lung. He pressed his mouth to Gojyo's and dug his nails into Gojyo's shoulders. The sutra fluttered on his shoulders in a non-existant breeze and he pressed further, moaning. Gojyo's hard body moved under his, pushing up for one blissful second.

"Ahh, yes, that's good."

Pain bloomed in Ni's chest as Gojyo groaned and dragged the knife out. Blood oozed from the narrow wound and spattered down in thick drops to land on Gojyo's chest.

"What are you doing?" Gojyo said. His eyes were as big and round as teacups. "You're crazy. What the fuck are you doing?"

Ni hung his head. The pain was really quite unpleasant now, a burning hot knife in his chest and down his spine.

"Hold it out," Ni said. "Do it," he said, when Gojyo didn't.

He pressed his left wrist to the blade. Its point slid through skin and into his vein, loosing a sharp spurt of blood. He heard Gojyo's sharp gasp. He pressed harder and let the knife go deep.

"No," Gojyo was saying, again.

"I'm a bad loser."

"Shit," Gojyo said. He clamped a hand round Ni's wrist, thumb pressing against the pulse of blood. The knife was on the floor, and Ni hadn't noticed him drop it. "You're just gonna die like this?"

When he couldn't stay upright, he slumped down and forwards, laying his head on Gojyo's chest. The sutra slipped off and down onto the bed, as it if had enjoyed the ride but was ready to move on.

"Damn you." Gojyo's voice was terribly soft. His skin was so beautifully warm. Ni felt his breath shorten, watching the red flow. It was very red, like Gojyo's hair. The two mingled together on his chest. There was a lot of blood.

"This is no hardship," he said, his lips moving against living skin. A hand slid round the back of his neck, holding him still, fingers stroking in a tiny soft rhythm. The hand on his wrist loosened finally.

"It's okay, yeah. Stay still. You're okay." Gojyo's words were like touches. His voice was so soft and hoarse. "Oh, damn. What am I gonna do? Is that sutra supposed to be movin' by itself?"

"Not really. I think you'll have to do something."

"But what? Tell me!"

"Ask the rising sun. It's here."

"Don't talk in fucking riddles."

There was cooling blood under his cheek; his own, at last. The room was very dark now. In the dimness of his thoughts he heard a booming. At first he thought it was Gojyo's heart, which was thumping under his ear. Air currents swirled across his skin and running foorsteps came near, loud on the stone. The doors must've gone, then. Gojyo's hand curled more tightly round his neck.

"Gojyo, thank heavens… Oh."

"Don't let Sanzo come in here. In that box on his desk, there's—" Gojyo shuddered, his muscles jumping and regaining strength. He held Ni tighter. "Can't you feel them?"

"Is that your blood?" Cho Hakkai said.

His voice was so small and scared, Ni had to smile. Claws sank into Ni's skin but he didn't feel too much pain. He was tossed away, onto his back. He reached out, wanting the warmth again.

"It's okay. Please. I'm okay," Gojyo was saying, in a strange thick voice. "He's still alive."

"But he's going to die."

"Yeah. I think so."

"I haven't ever been alive," Ni said, "so I can't die."

He felt Koumyou's hand on him now, in his hair, and hot salt water dripped into his mouth, some words in his ears that had lost their meaning. It was more than he'd expected, but then he'd never expected very much.

Comments

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Hehe, maybe I was using Nii as a mouthpiece at that point.

Thank you very much for reading it at work! I'm very glad you thought it worth the risk.