Saiyuki snippet: Ash, Sanzo/Goku

[louiselux]

For grendelity, who asked for Sanzo/Goku, pre-Journey, keyword "ashes". 10 mins

Ash

Face down, smothering in his pillow, he dreamed of the end of the world. Buildings like shards of diamonds clawed at the blackened sky. The earth moaned and shook, and there were no people. He was left alive, alone, standing in a rain of ashes that coated everything, turning the world into formless grey.

There was no yellow sun and no green healing plants and no blood-red fire. And yet he lived. He knew why only he had survived. He did… he knew that. It was because he was… he was… the monkey… a monkey…

"Wake up."

"Hnnh? Whaa?"

"Stupid monkey. Stop yelling."

"Oh Sanzo. Sanzo!"

Sanzo's smelled of cigarettes, and Goku wound his arms round his neck and crushed him close.

"Get off, stupid," Sanzo muttered into his ear, but his fingers were in Goku’s hair, stroking. His gold band tightened fractionally. "It was just a bad dream."

Comments

[elyndys.livejournal.com]

This made me so happy. ♥

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad - thank you!

[grendelity.livejournal.com]

Ahhh...maybe i'm hypersensitive, but this is almost heartbreakingly sweet. XD Something about Goku being doomed to live alone gets to be, the little dear. Thank you~~

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

You're welcome - I'm just very pleased you liked it. I don't know how long Goku would live - I don't think we are ever told if he is immortal, but it's probable he might be.

[grendelity.livejournal.com]

Well, in the first chapter, he says he's rechargable. Even though after that thing in the later chapters - no idea which, the Even the Worm one right before Seiten vs. Hakkai - Gojyo and Hakkai act like he's absolutely dead without removing his limiter. So I'm really not sure. Maybe the limiter's part of it.

[daegaer.livejournal.com]

"Get off, stupid," Sanzo muttered into his ear, but his fingers were in Goku’s hair, stroking. His gold band tightened fractionally.

Oh, I like this detail, with Goku wanting?/accepting? stronger binding to be close to Sanzo

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

I was thinking something along those lines - the bond between them is so strange and powerful and built in part on Sanzo's ability to control Goku.

I'm really pleased you liked it!

[sedens.livejournal.com]

"the monkey . . . a monkey"

"Stupid monkey."

From terrible, isolated, nameless uniqueness to the absence of any individual self, to . . . love and safety and identity. Perfect.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much indeed.

[crystal-lilly.livejournal.com]

Wow! It's so evocative... with only a few phrases.

Such a great drabble! And Sanzo's part at the end is so comforting.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm sure Sanzo hates being thought of as comforting though.

[lisa-bee.livejournal.com]

Goku's terrible/terrifying alone-ness gets me every time. (500 years in a cage on top of a mountain? Heaven is merciful indeed. Argh!)

(I'm a sucker, but I quite like the line "There was no yellow sun and no green healing plants and no blood-red fire.")

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thank you - I'm glad you liked that line. I was going to take the colours out, but left them in from sheer soppiness. :)

[lisa-bee.livejournal.com]

It does hover on the border of soppiness, but I think it works. :)

[fieryredqueen.livejournal.com]

aaaawwwwwWWWWWWwwwwwWWWWWWWwwwwwwWWWWW!!!!

[emungere.livejournal.com]

So many hearts!!

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Yay hearts! There can never be too many :D

[emungere.livejournal.com]

Okay, that was meant to be a separate comment, not a response, but apparently lj doesn't like me today. Still, hearts for Farf's funny uncle too!

[fieryredqueen.livejournal.com]

LOL...i was wondering. and F'sFU thanks you. :D

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Hee! Thank you. :)

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's excellent.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

[hungry-worm.livejournal.com]

Aww. *melts*
The last line ends it perfectly. ^_^

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much!

[trensaddiction.livejournal.com]

So sweet. I like how his dream ties in so well to the cues from his reality and yet can still be so simply dispelled.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

I do like your icon - I always have to stare at it for ages!

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Wow.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[cicer.livejournal.com]

Aw. Sanzo and Goku always break my heart. So sweet.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much!

[orvida.livejournal.com]

Wooo that was scary at first saiten taisaimust have destroyed the world.

Ah just goku dreaming and sanzo's their to comfort him.squee all the way home