Snippet for Notassuch

[louiselux]

For notassuch, Aziraphale and Crowley make a small wager.




Human Like You


'I could be completely human for as long as I wanted and feel absolutely no side effects.'

Aziraphale laughed out loud. 'Have you ever tried to live without relying on your powers? As a human? I don't think you'd manage very well, my dear.'

'And you would?' Crowley tapped the bottle they were sharing. 'Are you telling me that this £3.99 bottle of Sainsbury's Shiraz is still a bottle of £3.99 Sainsbury's Shiraz? You couldn't go a week without doing something. '

Aziraphale pursed his lips. 'Well, that's different.'

Crowley shook his head, grinning. 'Fifty pounds says you can't.'

Fifty pounds was tempting. 'You're on.'

'You switch off first,' Crowley said, tapping his foot.

'Together,' Aziraphale said.

Crowley sighed. 'All right. Okay? Ready?'

Aziraphale nodded and closed his eyes very briefly, taking a deep breath.

'Go!'

Aziraphale opened his eyes. Everything was a little more blurry than it was before. He had a headache.

'Humans are so itchy,' Crowley said, scratching his wrist. He took his sunglasses off to reveal plain brown eyes. 'It's dark in here too. You should get a new bulb. This isn't asbad as I thought,' he said, stretching. Then, sniffing, 'what's that smell?'

'Just the dry rot.'

Crowley gave him a cool look: 'Think I might go and get some fresh air. Indulge in a bit of exercise, or some other human pleasures.' He winked at Aziraphale.

He stalked to the door, stubbing his toe on a box of bargain books, then quietly cursing. Aziraphale looked after him, smiling. There were some cashmere socks in Selfridges that he'd been coveting - two pairs would come to just under fifty pounds.

'Come round for lunch tomorrow?' he called after Crowley's retreating back. He didn't want Crowley cheating and taking a day off. He'd make a large dish of extra-strength chilli for lunch, and then they could watch Crown Green Bowling all afternoon. That should finish Crowley off in no time.

The door slammed shut with a muttered agreement and Aziraphale watched with pleasure as Crowley fiddled with the Bentley's door, dropped his keys, ripped the parking ticket off the windscreen and did an 87 point turn to get out of the tiny parking space. The Bentley drove slowly off down the road. Aziraphale rubbed his aching back and got up to fetch the biscuits.

The socks were as good as his.

Comments

[daegaer.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha!

'Humans are so itchy,' Crowley said, scratching his wrist.

He is so right. The moment I read this the sympathy itches started.

And I love Aziraphale's method of stopping Crowley cheating. Poor fellow, faced with chilli and bowls :-)

Aziraphale watched with pleasure as Crowley fiddled with the Bentley's door, dropped his keys, ripped the parking ticket off the windscreen and did a 87 point turn to get out of the tiny parking space.

He's not even going to last the drive back to Mayfair! Poor, innocent little demon, caught up in angelic machinations. (For socks? For shame, Aziraphale!)

[odditycollector.livejournal.com]

Poor, innocent little demon, caught up in angelic machinations.
I was already giggling, but that just about finshed me off.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the fb! I know, socks. It doesn't take much. I think Crowley might last until half way through the bowls, when his digestive system starts to process Aziraphale's super-heated lunch.

That's interesting that you had sympathy itches. I wonder if everybody did..

[biascut.livejournal.com]

Check! But I constantly itch anyway - I never manage to forget for more than half an hour!