Saiyuki ficlet - Cold, Hakkai/Gojyo, G

[louiselux]

Writing exercise: unedited except for spellchecking. Written in 50 mins, give or take a minute, for the temps_mort temperature challenge:

Saiyuki ficlet: Cold


He knew. He'd known for a long time, back when they were living together on the outskirts of Ch'ang-an, in his too-small house in the back lanes where there weren't many people, where they ended up spending a lot of their time together, working for Sanzo. Gojyo had made sure to keep up with his favourite girlfriends but all the same, despite a smokescreen of lipsticked mouths and skirts and curves, he knew. He knew. And he stayed. He wondered if Hakkai was ever going to tell him. Hakkai: master of subtlety. Except in this he wasn't quite good enough.

It was their first winter together when he'd noticed.

'Shut the door, Gojyo,' said Hakkai, sitting at the kitchen table. He was flipping the pages of a book, making notes. 'You're letting the heat out.'

'Your lips look kinda blue,' Gojyo said, remembering to hang his fur-lined coat on the peg. Winters in Ch'ang-an were as cold as the summers were hot and sticky. 'Here,' and he went up behind him and rubbed his hands hard up and down Hakkai's skinny arms.

The book slammed shut.

'Don't.'

Gojyo snatched his hands away. 'Uh. Sorry,' he said and there was a frozen pause where he could hear the wind rattling the empty branches outside the window.

'I'd better start dinner,' Hakkai said, turning away, back to sounding exactly as pleasant as he always did, and that was it.

Hakkai flinched, twitched, moved away when Gojyo came too close. Ironic for someone who's insides he'd seen, purple and slippery and smelling bad. Gojyo didn't say anything; mostly because, in a way that he knew wasn't very healthy, he liked how Hakkai couldn't stand to be close him. It meant Hakkai was alive in there, feeling, responding even if it didn't make him happy. Hakkai was cold. Frigid, he'd say if it was a woman, just needing the touch of Gojyo's talented hands to set her on fire. If Hakkai ever touched himself, jerked off, had sex with anyone, Gojyo didn't know about it, and he would know. He couldn't even imagine Hakkai doing it. Gojyo didn't stop, didn't take care to keep his hands off.

Winter, and they were buried deep in snow, wrapped in white in their tidy little home, snug together. Hakkai made Gojyo lag all the pipes and plug the cracks in the wood with scraps of old blanket and glue.

'Dig me a path to the chicken coop,' Hakkai said one morning, not very politely. He had a stupid bobble hat on and his nose was red. He'd had a cold for the past week. He pushed a shovel at Gojyo and gave him a warm smile, a teasing one.

You love me Gojyo thought, clear and loud, the thought fully complete and appearing as if it had just been waiting nearby until its time was right. He stopped, dropped the shovel and wondering if he'd actually said it out loud, but Hakkai just turned and went back into the house and shut the door. Watched him work from the kitchen window. Gojyo stayed warm under his gaze.

He knew, all right.

Comments

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

I'm so pleased about that. *g* Thank you.