Fic - Open, Hakkai/Gojyo, G

[louiselux]

Well, hello! I wrote something, finally. Just a quick snippet from the snippet meme of yore. toscas_kiss wanted something for this icon, and with Gojyo in it:



It's Hakkai/Gojyo, Hakkai POV.



'You don't want this,' I said, sure right to the tips of my fingers.

They were curled round the back of Gojyo's neck, plunging into warm, soft hair. He didn't want it, but I did, and too keenly for it to be anything other than disastrous. I could picture the damage we could inflict upon one another. His mouth was open and his eyes were wide and he was staring at me as if I'd hit him. I'd spoken the truth, it was clear.

Perhaps my voice had changed its timbre. Perhaps my head had dropped and my eyes had narrowed. I'm not sure. At moments like that, one could call them moments of arousal, something inside-- I don't name it-- claws for freedom. I would be lying if I said that I did not welcome it, in some small, dark part of me, and to be honest it's been useful. Very useful, yes, in saving lives and taking them.

'What the fuck do you know, anyway?' Gojyo whispered and his face tangled in a brief snarl, even as his body shoved heavy and warm against me. 'You don't know what I want,' and his voice seemed wrung with desperation. 'Sometimes,' he carried on, almost a babble, 'you just don't get it. Hakkai.'

His breath was all over my face, hot and tar-smelling from the cigarette he'd tossed away a minute ago, when we were still stood apart, both staring at what he'd asked me, just straight out and shocking. Now he crushed me close and burrowed his face into my neck, not even kissing me, just holding on tight and not at all gently. His hands moved on my back, fingers digging in then smoothing me over and as my arms curved in turn around his waist he groaned and clutched me tighter. It sounded like relief.

It shook me. Gojyo was right. I might not know. It would be wonderful not to know and to be surprised, to be empty and then filled up, even with the nameless thing still living in me. Filled up with Gojyo. I squeezed tighter and heard him gasp. An image of him moving above me flashed against my closed eyes and then there was so much heat between us I could hardly breathe. Gojyo panted into my neck. Our hips were canted tight together, talking while we were frozen above.

'You don't listen,' Gojyo said in my ear.

To him, to myself? I was blinded and he confused me. Even then, perhaps especially then, I could sense myself wanting to change, the ugly face of what I am pushing to get out, because it never did and now it was shaking me. My throat tightened with fear, but Gojyo just put his hands up to my face and kissed me, slowly and with great care, as I never imagined he could. The fear slipped away, I hardly even felt it go, and the thing inside me blossomed, as gentle as a rose unfurling.

I murmured against his mouth, something about love, and he murmured it back. There was no other choice, so I let him in, let myself out.

Comments

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Ooooh.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks:)