Crowley/Lwaxana Troi

[louiselux]

Via the Brain Hurting Fanfic Pairer, then inspired by daegaer, enigel and yonmei, I wrote Crowley/Lwaxana Troi. It almost veered madly off into Aziraphale/Mr Homn (anyone? I think it would be sweet!)




'Mother, I sense great pain.'

'Deanna, not now. We're at a party,' said the dark haired woman with the noticeably good bone structure. 'Well, if you can call it that. I've seen fewer scowls at a Klingon wedding.'

'No, really, I do.'

'Actually, that'll be my toes,' gasped Aziraphale, deciding that he'd better say something.

'Oh! Mr Homn, please get off that man's foot.' The woman with the bone structure waved a manicured hand at the tall, brooding person looming at her elbow, who was also currently looming on Aziraphale.

'That would be very nice,' Aziraphale groaned.

The tall man stared at him moodily, then shuffled back.

'I hope you're not too hurt,' the younger woman asked. 'Your shoe's damaged, I'm afraid. Mr Homn is rather-- dense.'

'Oh, these old things,' Aziraphale waved his hands deprecatingly. 'I needed to get a new pair anyway.'

The older woman looked down at his scuffed boot for a long moment, then raked her gaze up over his body with what Aziraphale thought was an unnecessarily critical gaze.

'Yes,' she said eventually, 'with a bright smile, 'you really do.'

'Mother!'

With a small twitch the creases miraculously disappeared from his second best burgundy body suit. 'Well, if that's-- '

'Oh, relax.' She waved her elegant hand. 'I'm Lwaxana Troi, this is my daughter Deanna. Please, talk to her.'

Deanna groaned audibly.

'She needs a man,' Lwaxana said in his ear, then paused, her eyes fixing on something over Aziraphale's left shoulder. As he watched her smile widen, he had the odd feeling that he knew what it was, or who, rather.

'Hello,' said Crowley.

' --but before you go, introduce me to your friend,' she purred.

*

A week later there was another reception.

'...she did what with her metaconciousness?'

Crowley smiled. 'I'll tell you later. Here she comes.'

Lwaxana was cutting a swathe through the crowd, trailing green silk and perfume.

'I really don’t know what you see in her,' Aziraphale sniffed. 'Did you know what she said to me? That I shouldn't keep everything bottled up all the time. The cheek of it, coming from her. I don't think she could keep much under wraps if her life depended on it, and I'm not just talking about her emotions either. Did you see what she was wearing at the Captain's sherry party last night. It wouldn’t have covered a midget. I asked her if she was hot. She said she'd never had any complaints. I don't know what she meant.' Aziraphale gave a baffled frown.

'Don’t worry, I do.' Crowley studied him for a moment, then took him by the elbow. 'Aziraphale, you know, one might start to get the impression that you're jealous,' he said.

'I am not,' Aziraphale snapped, shaking off Crowley's arm.

Then Lwaxana was there. 'I won’t mind, you know,' she said with a wink and coquettish look between the two. 'I think it's perfectly charming.'

'Hmm?' Crowley said, not concentrating. Lwaxana's shoulders gleamed magnificently in the light of the moons.

'When we're married. I won't mind.'

'Er. What?'

'I'm not the jealous type. Betazoids just aren't. You can still have sex with your friend.'

'What?'

'Well goodness, have you gone deaf? Anthony, darling. You can still sleep with him after we're married,' she said slowly and carefully, as if to a child. She turned and threw a brilliant smile at Aziraphale, who was spilling his drink. 'I know I certainly shall,' she added.

Green utteberry juice squirted violently out of Aziraphale's nostrils.

'Was it something I said?' she asked.

Comments

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thank you!


'...You can still have sex with your friend.'

Well, Lwaxana can't lie, can she? *g* She knows the truth!