So that's where I've been going wrong
Apr. 20th, 2004 03:50 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
louiseluxSpotted in this entertaining article about a Mills & Boon writing course: advice on how to write a romance novel:
'Take a single red rose, place in a vase on your desk. Smell it. Light aromatic candles. Anoint your body with your favourite oil. Put on a silk negligee and rub your hands up and down your body. Pour a glass of chilled white wine. Close your eyes and imagine Tom Selleck is making love to you. Start writing.'
Fan version: Take over the computer, so no one else can use it for hours. Smell yourself. Wish you had aromatic candles. Anoint your body with some lukewarm coffee. Put on a pair of baggy old tracksuit bottoms and rub your hands up and down your keyboard. Pore over livejournal until it's clear no one's updating. Close your eyes and imagine Severus Snape is making love toTom Selleck only joking whoever you damn well please. Start writing.'
'Take a single red rose, place in a vase on your desk. Smell it. Light aromatic candles. Anoint your body with your favourite oil. Put on a silk negligee and rub your hands up and down your body. Pour a glass of chilled white wine. Close your eyes and imagine Tom Selleck is making love to you. Start writing.'
Fan version: Take over the computer, so no one else can use it for hours. Smell yourself. Wish you had aromatic candles. Anoint your body with some lukewarm coffee. Put on a pair of baggy old tracksuit bottoms and rub your hands up and down your keyboard. Pore over livejournal until it's clear no one's updating. Close your eyes and imagine Severus Snape is making love to
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-20 07:58 am (UTC)Close your eyes and imagine Severus Snape is making love to
Tom Selleck only jokingwhoever you damn well please.LOLOL! I don't think Snape would think much of the mustache...
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Date: 2004-04-22 12:01 pm (UTC)Defintely not a facial hair man! Or a Hawaiian shirt amn, come to that..
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Date: 2004-04-20 08:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-22 12:03 pm (UTC)Aren't we?
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Date: 2004-04-22 12:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-20 08:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-22 12:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-20 09:02 am (UTC)LOL! So very, very true, especially the bit about poring over LJ.
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Date: 2004-04-22 12:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-20 09:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-22 12:06 pm (UTC)Mmmm, large caterpillar moustaches. Not.
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Date: 2004-04-20 11:45 am (UTC)All I need to do to get in a writing mood is to stay up until 3 am the day before I have a massive paper due! That always makes me want to write fiction (of course, I have to write the paper instead).
Or airplanes, but I'm paranoid about people reading over my shoulder, so I have to type in 8pt Verdana, which I can't read.
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Date: 2004-04-22 12:08 pm (UTC)Ahahaha! Exactly, yes, that works for me too. Papers to write, housework to do, job to go to...
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Date: 2004-04-20 12:36 pm (UTC)this hurts, my friend (as truth often does).
the only time when I wrote consistently and without interruptions was in my first days at work, when the internet connection was broken. (my job required Internet access.)
my writing advice:
prepare stack of chocolate. go to your cable/DSL/whatever modem. look at it tenderly, reach a hand as if stroking.
rip the connector, feel that desperate, hollow ache of loneliness for a horrible half of hour.
start writing.
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Date: 2004-04-22 12:09 pm (UTC)My main technique involves being forced to sit on train for 3 hours a day with nothing to do.
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Date: 2004-04-22 12:37 pm (UTC)ah, the joys of commuting... I'll have to ask my friend