Fic: Up Above the World, Good Omens, G

[louiselux]

I originally wrote this for this week's contrelamontre water challenge, the one I failed to read properly (again). It owes more than a nod to Julian Barnes's A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters, especially the wood worm and the awful Noah family. Crowley, Aziraphale and the Flood.




Up Above the World


The water, when it came, was cold. Crowley wept over it, but hid his tears from the angels that were hanging around, the ones that had come down to view the sight of a drowned earth.

'You'd better move before I bother noticing you,' Michael said as he lowered his shining form to hover above the water. Crowley swam away, his coils rippling easily through the sea. He turned his head to see a glowing mob descend and begin to stare around them.

Gloaters, he thought, hearing their talk rise in volume. He sighed and spat out a mouthful of salt water. It was raining even harder than before. Grey sheets spattered down onto the rising lakes.

'It's going to stop soon,' Aziraphale told him later, as they gazed down at a peak of rock, all that was visible of an enormous mountain. The summit was dense with small figures, clinging on to each other and shrieking as waves flung themselves at the rock and the wind blew spray into their faces.

'Not soon enough for them,' said Crowley.

He'd spent the past week swimming over drowned villages. It gave him the creeps. Aziraphale hadn't been able to meet his eyes yet.

'Let's go somewhere else,' he said, pulling on the angel's arm until he turned away. Endless rain streamed down their faces and their wings, dripping off their toes as they flew along.

He watched from a safe distance as Aziraphale reported back to Gabriel at the end of one day, the day when there was no person left walking on the earth. He saw Gabriel folding his arms in annoyance and caught his faint words on the breeze. The sunset loomed behind him, red and bloody through the slate clouds. Gabriel's hair writhed in the wind like snakes. His voice was sharp and the darkening sea rose, topped with white crests.

'I don't know why He spared fish and aquatic mammals, okay?'

Aziraphale spoke again and Crowley heard Gabriel's voice, louder this time:

'Or birds!'

Aziraphale went on at some length while Gabriel fluttered his wings and looked everywhere but at him. Finally, he yanked Aziraphale nearer and spoke to him, the rhythm but not the content of his words reaching Crowley's sharp ears. The sound sent a chill through him. There was a hard look on Gabriel's face, which turned even harder when he shot a dark glance at exactly the place Crowley was hiding. He shrank back under the water. Gabriel rose up and flew off, leaving Aziraphale staring after him.

*

The water looked pretty in the sunlight. The rain had stopped and the clouds had rolled back, letting the water reflect the sky. It was a deep blue. Crowley avoided swimming over the land. He could tell where it was by the muddy stains in the water, caused by tons of earth and sand washed away by the flood. He swam out over the sea, keeping his snake form mostly because it made swimming easier but also because he was horribly conspicuous. Nothing else moved on the surface of the planet. Except, as Aziraphale said, the birds and fishes and whales. After a while, when it was clear that the angels weren't coming back, he changed back into his favourite shape.

Crowley had nothing to do. Seawater splashed in great sheets as he plunged through it and it was fun to leap out of the water with his wings spread and see the droplets fly off in arcs, lit by the sun. He tried tempting the whales, but they ignored him and carried on with their long slow lives, calling to each other across the huge seas. Aziraphale wasn't around anywhere. He'd left shortly after the rain stopped, looking gloomy. He hadn’t said goodbye. Crowley had searched for days and days, until his wings ached. He remembered Gabriel's voice and the way he'd looked at Aziraphale, then very pointedly at Crowley. He wondered if this was the end and if soon he'd be called back Down There, back to where water was good for only one thing, and that thing was boiling people in it.

Crowley was beginning to get desperate when Aziraphale came back, flying over the water to him, looking sheepish at first, then smiling and waving as he came nearer.

'Where have you been?' said Crowley. 'I thought you must've drowned and come back as a fish.' He put out a hand to touch Aziraphale's clothes. 'Hang on-- you're completely dry.' He did a quick check. 'All over.'

'Well, er… '

'What?'

'I shouldn't really tell you.'

'Oh. I see.' Of course he wouldn't tell him. Crowley stopped smiling. He hadn't expected anything else, had he?

Aziraphale stared at him. 'Crowley. Wait.' Aziraphale grasped his arm. 'I meant to say, I shouldn't really tell you, but I will. There's a boat, an enormous boat. It's full of people, Crowley. A marvellous big happy family and guess what?'

It was hard not to be infected Aziraphale's smile. Crowley tried to resist then gave up.

'All right, what?'

'Animals!' Aziraphale's face shone with joy. 'They’ve got breeding pairs of all the creatures of the earth. Saved!'

'All of them? Oh, marvellous. And it must be a bloody big boat then,' said Crowley. 'You came to invite me, did you?'

'I thought you might like a rest. You look very tired, Crowley.'

Water stretched out all around them, reflecting the glare of the sun. Nothing broke its surface. Aziraphale was right, he was tired.

'Have they got wood-worm too?' Crowley asked a little later, planting his bare feet onto warm smooth planks. His toes dug into the wood and it creaked.

'Everything, apparently,' Aziraphale said, dragging him up onto the front deck, which was spacious and fairly quiet. 'The animals are all below decks and the people live in the aft quarters.' Aziraphale moved closer. 'Listen. Try not to bother them, won't you? It's just that you're not really supposed to be here. But, well, it just didn’t seem fair to me. And anyway,' Aziraphale paused as though he was wondering if he should speak, then went on quickly, 'I might like the company.'

Crowley was silent for a bit. 'What's 'aft' mean then?' he managed at last.

'Oh, um, it's a nautical term.'

'So, this boat has everything. Apart from all the worthless sinners. And the buildings. And all that technology. And the tablets. That stuff's all gone.'

'Crowley. Please.'

He saw the look on Aziraphale's face: 'I'm glad,' he said. 'I'm glad you brought me here. This is a good thing.'


*


Crowley rolled his eyes. Noah and his family were hopeless. If this was the bottleneck through which humanity was to be squeezed there had been no point in flooding the world in the first place. It had all been a big waste of everyone's time. Not to mention lives. Crowley hardly had to do anything to encourage Noah and his family to misbehave, they managed all by themselves. He soon stopped meddling, in fact, because he became more and more worried about the stability of life on the boat. There was the constant squabbling, the fighting, the incest, adultery and secret visiting of the nanny-goat pen, not to mention the limited personal space. Crowley learned to steered clear of anything animal-shaped, after the incident with the gorillas.

At night, when the family were busy arguing or having sex, or preferably both, Crowley liked to sit on the front deck. Aziraphale would come and they'd watch the sun go down and the stars appear, and they'd talk. Aziraphale hardly ever complained about the wine Crowley miracled from seawater, even if it did have a salty tang. Crowley liked to listen to Aziraphale's stories about Noah and his three sons, they made him laugh. He wondered if they were all true, but he supposed it didn't matter; Aziraphale must get bored too, spending day after day with the goat, fending off its many admirers.

'Japeth's eaten the ring-tailed wombats,' Aziraphale said one night, flopping down onto the deck next to Crowley. 'Be a dear and pass me the wine, will you?' He took a long drink and lay back. 'I must say, you'd think he'd restrain himself just for a little while more.'

Crowley looked up: 'Is it going to be much longer then?' Aziraphale had been cagey about the plan, the point of all this, but Crowley had considered it through the long days at sea, and had a pretty good idea of why. People had got too bad. The plan had backfired and this flood was a way of starting all over again. At first Crowley had felt a flicker of pride as he thought of it: some of that badness had been down to him. He stopped smiling when he thought of the consequences.

'I shouldn't really say.'

'Secret, is it?'

'Not secret as such. Not really. But still-- '

'Not really, but... ?' Crowley encouraged.

'Oh,' said Aziraphale, huffing out a breath, 'you'll find out anyway. I might as well tell you. The wind - you've noticed the wind?'

It had been blowing steadily for a week or so now and was sending every creature on the boat crazy. Aziraphale explained about God's plan to evaporate the water; Crowley listened patiently and disbelievingly.

'I still don't see the point of doing it in the first place, if He thinks everyone's just going to go bad again.'

'Yes, but it gives them so much more of a chance, doesn’t it?'

Crowley still didn't get it, however much Aziraphale talked about cleansing and renewal and exciting developments in the future, just you wait and see.

*

The disembarkation was chaos, so Crowley kept out of the way. He was suffering from the very odd conviction that it wasn't really fair to mess around with this lot. Instead he sat in the sun and watched Aziraphale run about trying to make sure none of the animals ate each other before they had a fair chance to get away. The penguins were incredibly confused and set off down the mountain immediately, looking hot and depressed. The brindled badgers got into Ham's wife's bedroom and made an appalling mess of it. She had her revenge the day after, and badgers for lunch. Aziraphale was furious.

Noah and his family were building a monument, mostly on their own initiative. Aziraphale had given them a short introductory speech, floating above their heads in his best peach robes. It rained shortly after, but in a different way than before. This water wasn't hard and grey and didn't fall in blinding sheets. Instead, the sun shone through the refreshing drops and everyone stared. Sun and rain together was unheard of.

'What's that?'

Crowley stared up into the sky with the rest of them. He'd never seen colours so bright. They made his eyes ache.

Aziraphale came up beside him: 'It's water vapour, you know,' he said.

'More water. He's obsessed with the stuff.'

'Possibly,' said Aziraphale. 'It's hard to tell.'

Crowley turned to look at him and saw what he was holding.

'What are you doing with those?'

Two goats stood dolefully behind him, chewing the end of their rope. Aziraphale was hanging onto the other end. Crowley raised his eyebrows and grinned.

'So, you've succumbed to the charms of the goats at last. I did wonder.'

Aziraphale tsked.

'I just thought they might have a nicer quality of life in the hills. Er, the other hills. There are too many people here,' he said, casting a worried glance at Shem.

Shem was over by the boat, glowering at them. He was still ticking the animals off using Aziraphale's amazing new invention: a nice long checklist. Crowley had come up with the basic concept though.

'Huh. You're off? I'll stay here then, shall I? Make myself at home.'

It didn’t sound so great. He scowled at the thousands of animals that still roamed the perimeter of camp, chewing things and crapping on any flat surface. They all hated him.

Aziraphale fiddled with the tether: 'We can leave them alone for a bit, do you think? Let them get settled.'

'I suppose.' Crowley felt inexplicably downcast. What was he supposed to do now? Where would he go? He looked up. The rainbow was still there, looming above them. Stupid rainbow.

'I was thinking. You could come with me into the hills, if you like.' Aziraphale spoke quickly. 'Apparently this is a wonderful area for growing vines. Maybe we could plant some, save them the bother.' He nodded in the direction of the camp.

Crowley looked up at the blue sky again. The sun shone down onto the muddy ground, drying it beneath their feet. Green shoots were pushing through the dark soil. It was good to be here, to walk on the surface of the earth. And the rainbow was a thing of beauty. How had he not noticed before?

'Sounds a good idea,' he said, trying not to smile too obviously. 'Thought I might explore a bit myself. Been cooped up on that boat. They can look after themselves for a bit.'

'Exactly,' said Aziraphale. He leaned in and his sharp smile gave Crowley a start, then made him laugh. 'I won't tell if you don't.'

They walked off down the mountain side, leaving the sounds of great industry behind them. The goats scrambled after them bleating excitedly, and the rainbow floated over everyone.

Comments

[mikhyel.livejournal.com]

Oh, because I DO want! ...Of course, now I'm going to have images in my head of mpreg!Aziraphale. (Because while I really can't imagine either of them getting knocked up...it couldn't be Crowley...) He'd be all British about it, too.