Sex! Again.
Feb. 19th, 2004 09:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
louiselux[Fixed the typos now. Sorry. That'll teach me to be twitchy with the post button]
I've been thinking for a while about sex. Ahem. Writing sex, that is. I think what I'd really like is for people to point me to their favourite sex scene/PWP and then tell me why they think it's good. I don't know if I should try and define what I mean by 'good' at this point as everyone's definition of what's good in a sex scene is different. All I can do is to describe the things I think make a sex scene good: that they be erotic, charming, moving, intense, warm, human and real, either all or a combination of these qualities. There.
A long while ago, someone gave the best advice ever about writing sex scenes. I can't remember who it was, sadly. They said, before you embark on writing, go back to the stories that you think had wonderfully written sex in. Now, sit down and work out exactly what it was about it that made it so good, what you liked about it, what turned you on. Apply that when you write your own.
Here are a few scenes that I think are good, with some thoughts as to exactly why. It's hard to rip these scenes out of context, but this post would be about 12 feet long otherwise, so forgive me.
This is from A Strong Defense" by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ellen_fremedon
So, what do I like about this scene? I like the precision, and the precision works for me in two ways. Firstly, I am able to visualise exactly what position the two are in and how they are moving. Secondly there is one incredibly precise physical sensation, the weight of a penis on the tongue, which prompts a dizzying sort of sense memory. Then, in the last paragraph the physical action leads to Snape's oblique, rather heartbreaking comparison of Remus to his former lovers. So you have a jump from precise physical action to internal thought, and internal thought that completely halts you in your tracks and makes you wonder about Snape's past life. It's an unexpected glimpse that leaves you teetering on the edge of something dark.
This is from For England Home and Beauty by Cimorene. She does something different here- she writes sex in the style of the original text, ie, Sherlock Holmes, and I think it's fabulous. it's very different in tone to the previous snippet but I like it for similar reasons.
What I like about this is the way that Holmes doesn't stop being Holmes just because he's doing something that we've never seen him do in canon, ie, fuck Watson. The sex just highlights his character, and is warm and funny at the same time. Like Snape in the snippet above, we're given insights into Holmes's character, but in this story it's through his speech (which I like very much in sex scenes) and actions, not his internal thoughts.
The last scene is completely different in tone to the one above. It's from Sidelines by Anna S
It's particularly difficult to take this scene out of context because it shows the first sex Spike and Xander have and it happens after a excellent build-up of tension.
What I enjoy about this scene is the rhythm of the writing, and the way the sentence structure mirrors the wildness of what Xander is feeling. There's a pell mell of his thoughts and sensations that carry you along and create tension in the scene - a feeling of intensity.
I particularly like the way that Xander discovers his sexuality and the power it can have over Spike, demonstrated by the way he says 'use me' and the reaction it gets from Spike. He (and the reader) knows that Spike won't actually hurt him and that this is a game, albeit a dangerous, messy game.
And then you have a wonderful, typical wry Spike comment, perfectly in character, with his 'old college try.' That lets you know that it really *is* a game. Its odd, because you'd think a wisecrack in the middle of a tense scene like this would diffuse things, but it doesn't at all. I think what's good about it is that it lets you know that Spike is having to make an effort to stay in control, that if he doesn't make light of things then it'll get too much for him, which all points to the exciting thing, which is that it's Xander who makes him lose control.
I can boil that down to one key thing that I like in sex scenes: evidence that someone who is usually in control is losing it, that someone is being undone by lust or love. I like being shown that. There are tons more stories out there that have good sex in, that I haven't even started to describe here. There are scenes that only hint at sex, that never refer to genitals yet are incredibly hot, scenes that sadly I've read and loved and lost track of.
I'd better stop now as I have Angel series one to watch. Anyone else got any good examples?
I've been thinking for a while about sex. Ahem. Writing sex, that is. I think what I'd really like is for people to point me to their favourite sex scene/PWP and then tell me why they think it's good. I don't know if I should try and define what I mean by 'good' at this point as everyone's definition of what's good in a sex scene is different. All I can do is to describe the things I think make a sex scene good: that they be erotic, charming, moving, intense, warm, human and real, either all or a combination of these qualities. There.
A long while ago, someone gave the best advice ever about writing sex scenes. I can't remember who it was, sadly. They said, before you embark on writing, go back to the stories that you think had wonderfully written sex in. Now, sit down and work out exactly what it was about it that made it so good, what you liked about it, what turned you on. Apply that when you write your own.
Here are a few scenes that I think are good, with some thoughts as to exactly why. It's hard to rip these scenes out of context, but this post would be about 12 feet long otherwise, so forgive me.
This is from A Strong Defense" by
ellen_fremedon"Stay just like that," Remus said. And he did-- propped on his elbows, lying half against the bolster, while Remus crawled up the bed, kissed his mouth briefly but fiercely, and then threw one leg over Snape's chest and took himself in hand and rubbed the tip of his cock against Snape's parted lips.
Snape leaned in to take the head into his mouth and held it there for a moment, just feeling the weight of Remus's cock on his tongue, and then pulled back, not sucking yet, just pressing his lips close around it. Remus let out a slow breath.
Snape brought his hands in to touch whatever he could reach-- Remus's calves and thighs, it didn't matter-- and let Remus control the pace. It was a slow pace. Snape supposed Remus was fucking his mouth-- he pressed in and out, one hand braced against the headboard, the other wrapped around his cock-- but the word hardly fit. Fucking, in Snape's experience, was seldom this slow, never this gentle.
So, what do I like about this scene? I like the precision, and the precision works for me in two ways. Firstly, I am able to visualise exactly what position the two are in and how they are moving. Secondly there is one incredibly precise physical sensation, the weight of a penis on the tongue, which prompts a dizzying sort of sense memory. Then, in the last paragraph the physical action leads to Snape's oblique, rather heartbreaking comparison of Remus to his former lovers. So you have a jump from precise physical action to internal thought, and internal thought that completely halts you in your tracks and makes you wonder about Snape's past life. It's an unexpected glimpse that leaves you teetering on the edge of something dark.
This is from For England Home and Beauty by Cimorene. She does something different here- she writes sex in the style of the original text, ie, Sherlock Holmes, and I think it's fabulous. it's very different in tone to the previous snippet but I like it for similar reasons.
"Ahh, Watson," he murmured, lifting his face to mine again and pressing our foreheads together, "You are impatient. You forget that we have until morning, when brother Mycroft will come in answer to my telegram at breakfast." But he humored me, insinuating a hand between us, stroking my belly and thighs with his clever fingers before taking me in his hand so gently I thought I stopped breathing. Holmes laughed. "Such power over you, my dear."
I shook my head, "It was always yours."
While he held me in his hand, literally, and kissed my neck and chest, my friend murmured happily that the case had gone extremely well, for such a simple little affair; that that moment when he realized how the body must have fallen at the point had been most remarkable; that my search of the fireplace grate and marking the papers had been very well done, but certainly not better than he expected of me; that under the blankets was wonderfully warm, that I was like a furnace; that he really felt for Miss Violet Westbury; that he was fond of my mustache and my hands; that he thought I was improving rapidly at deduction; that he had often considered whether to buy flowers or some little thing for me, but never could keep the thought long enough, without getting distracted by something else, to decide what purchase to make.
Here I laughed aloud.
What I like about this is the way that Holmes doesn't stop being Holmes just because he's doing something that we've never seen him do in canon, ie, fuck Watson. The sex just highlights his character, and is warm and funny at the same time. Like Snape in the snippet above, we're given insights into Holmes's character, but in this story it's through his speech (which I like very much in sex scenes) and actions, not his internal thoughts.
The last scene is completely different in tone to the one above. It's from Sidelines by Anna S
Spike shoved him bodily against a supporting column; as Xander's head hit plaster, the chip provoked a wince, and Spike groaned and cradled a hand behind Xander's head, looking as if he hated it and looking incredibly, angrily aroused, and he launched a fierce kiss and ground his erection into Xander's hips, and the grinding was killing Xander in a good way but the kiss was heaven and what the hell was an undeserving vampire doing there--what did this prove, this hot desperate mouthing, this deliberate attack, rude and ferocious? He was using his entire mouth, he was using his sharp tongue, he was using Xander.
Yes, Xander thought, and then he said it aloud, breathlessly: "Use me."
Spike reared back with cobra-headed grace and licked his lips. He hadn't vamped, but Xander could sense he was on the verge, heard it in the soft, inhuman growl that rattled from his throat. At the sound, every tiny hair on his body lifted, and his dick strained against the hard pressure of Spike's hips. He looked nasty and newly powerful--and Xander thought that anyone who could make you feel like getting on your knees and begging for it was to be respected and feared. The thought excited him.
"You want me to play rough?" Spike asked. Xander gasped once and nodded. Spike's face grew hard with lust and a kind of frustrated desire to give pain, which was disturbing because Xander didn't know how he recognized that. "Well, I'll give it the old college try, and we'll see what the technology allows." His tight jaw worked briefly, then his face cleared a bit and he smiled, charming and menacing, the smile of a gentleman who would obligingly kill you if you asked.
It's particularly difficult to take this scene out of context because it shows the first sex Spike and Xander have and it happens after a excellent build-up of tension.
What I enjoy about this scene is the rhythm of the writing, and the way the sentence structure mirrors the wildness of what Xander is feeling. There's a pell mell of his thoughts and sensations that carry you along and create tension in the scene - a feeling of intensity.
I particularly like the way that Xander discovers his sexuality and the power it can have over Spike, demonstrated by the way he says 'use me' and the reaction it gets from Spike. He (and the reader) knows that Spike won't actually hurt him and that this is a game, albeit a dangerous, messy game.
And then you have a wonderful, typical wry Spike comment, perfectly in character, with his 'old college try.' That lets you know that it really *is* a game. Its odd, because you'd think a wisecrack in the middle of a tense scene like this would diffuse things, but it doesn't at all. I think what's good about it is that it lets you know that Spike is having to make an effort to stay in control, that if he doesn't make light of things then it'll get too much for him, which all points to the exciting thing, which is that it's Xander who makes him lose control.
I can boil that down to one key thing that I like in sex scenes: evidence that someone who is usually in control is losing it, that someone is being undone by lust or love. I like being shown that. There are tons more stories out there that have good sex in, that I haven't even started to describe here. There are scenes that only hint at sex, that never refer to genitals yet are incredibly hot, scenes that sadly I've read and loved and lost track of.
I'd better stop now as I have Angel series one to watch. Anyone else got any good examples?
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no subject
no subject
Date: 2004-02-19 10:19 pm (UTC)Well, yes, you're quite right. That's what it should do, if you're reading it.
But, coming from the perspective of trying to write them and finding it quite hard (though lots of fun) I'm trying (maybe in vain) to be more analytical than that.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-19 10:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-02-19 10:36 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2004-02-23 04:42 pm (UTC)However, other people assure me that I've managed it on occasion, and there are a few of my own stories that I look back on and think, even if nobody else thought it was hot, it works for me.
I find that the best time for writing erotica is when I'm very tired and therefore not self-conscious about it, and also when it flows both from the situation in the story and the characters themselves.
There's nothing worse than reading a sex scene and being brought up short not just by the inability to picture the position or know what the characters are feeling, but by dialogue (or internal monologue) that makes no sense for a character to be speaking or thinking, especially in that situation.
One-handed writing...
Date: 2004-02-21 04:55 pm (UTC)That said, it is also possible to just have the erotic scene fully expanded in one's mind and write around it. Often that is even hotter than the explicit version :)
no subject
Date: 2004-02-19 11:50 pm (UTC)keep in mind however the sex scene has been building up for 13 chaps. ^^;;; Usually I ahte to wait but I absolutely adore this fic, it's so cute and well written. USually I co for cute for sweet sex scenes as oppose to full out shagging, but that's just me. :D
Re:
Date: 2004-02-20 04:24 pm (UTC)I think it depends a lot on the characters and how far you can go with the out and out porn, because some things just can't support it in my opinion- like Sherlock Holmes for one, and Good Omens for another. The scenes I picked out are quite graphic, but I actaully like to read sweet, cure sort of sex scenes too, because they get to me on an emotional level that porn doesn't.
Thanks for the pointer- I'll have a read when I get a chance.
no subject
Date: 2004-02-20 02:39 pm (UTC)Secondly, really interesting question.
*cough* Not that rereading that scene is any sort of hardship or anything...
Re:
Date: 2004-02-20 04:29 pm (UTC)That scene in A Stong Defense really struck me when I read it first - the imagery is really quite blunt and upfront. It's so beautifully described, and then you have the emotional content from Snape in the background, just alluded to...
I find sex a fascinating thing to ponder. *cough* I mean, how it's written and why certain things *are* so incredibly hot. If you do come up with any thoeries, I'd be interested to hear about it.
I'll read 'Repechage' - I've never read any of her work and heard good things about it.