My life is but a giant cheese

[louiselux]

On a brave and darksome morning, Louise sat under a rock. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her finger ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Her Life to love someone with a dangerous nose?

Achingly, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like an uphill yellow banana leaf notebook, all on a summer's day. I wish my Her Life would bite me, in her own bespectacled way..."

"Do you?" Her Life sat down beside Louise and put her hand on Louise's brain. "I think that could be arranged."

Louise gasped boringly. "But what about my dangerous nose?"

"I like it," Her Life said slowly. "I think it's annoying."

They came together and their kiss was like a keyboard with jam on it and a thousand sticky fingerprints.

"I love you," Louise said confusingly.

"I love you too," Her Life replied and bit her.

They bought a squirrel, moved in together, and lived dumbly ever after.

Which sort of sums things up really chez Louise. Apart from the squirrel...

Brought to you by prillalar's wondrous and versatile drabble-matic

Comments

[tboy.livejournal.com]

Her finger ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share.

Word.

[cangetmad.livejournal.com]

Generously Tripping

Claire tripped along avariciously. She was on her way to meet her lover, Brenda, for Valentine's Day. She smiled to see a coypu hopping along, carrying a friend in its mouth.

Claire was almost outside the police station when she came across a delectable cake, lying alone on a blue plate. "That must be a treat from my tremulous bear," she said to herself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked desperate, so she ate it.

It gave her the most dashing tingling sensation in her right arm. "How unusual!" she said and continued tripping to see Brenda.

When Brenda came out to meet her, she took one look and fell over.

"What is it?" Claire cried furiously.

"Your knee! And your nostril!" Brenda said. "They're cumulative! Can't you feel it?"

Claire felt her knee and her nostril. They were indeed quite cumulative. "Oh, no!" Claire said. "I'm a man!" She, or rather, he started to cry. "It must have been that delectable cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"

"I didn't leave you any cake," Brenda said. "I got you a biscuit. It must have been that imprecise man who lives nearby. He acts a little perkily, ever since he placated a tarot card."

"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a man?" Claire sobbed.

"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Brenda said helpfully, "but I actually prefer men. And I think your knee is really toothsome like that."

"Really?" Claire dried his tears. Claire kissed Brenda and it was an entirely suspicious sensation, like a tin soldier that has just escaped the toy cupboard.

They spent the night having entirely suspicious sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.

Everything was rather awkward after that.

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[cangetmad.livejournal.com]

And, I promise not to do this again, but this is what happens when you set a linguistics geek loose on that thing:

A Gerund In Time

On a transitive and commutative morning, Noun sat in the second paragraph. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her prefix ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Verb to love someone with a hyphenated inflection?

Minimally, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a declarative negative preposition, all on a summer's day. I wish my Verb would conjugate me, in her own imperative way..."

"Do you?" Verb sat down beside Noun and put her hand on Noun's suffix. "I think that could be arranged."

Noun gasped syntactically. "But what about my hyphenated inflection?"

"I like it," Verb said articulately. "I think it's optative."

They came together and their kiss was like a word imported from the Arabic that no longer knew how to cope with its template morphology.

"I love you," Noun said aurally.

"I love you too," Verb replied and conjugated her.

They bought a sentence, moved in together, and lived orally ever after.

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[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Hee!

A 30 Minute Challenge In Time

On an archived and many-chaptered morning, Canon sat gazing at her livejournal. It was Valentine's Day and she was all alone. Her mailing list ached in sorrow for the secret love that she could never share. How could she expect Fanon to love someone with a smutty badfic?

Wearily, she began to recite a poem she had composed. "Ah, my love is like a password-protected steaming Mary Sue, all on a summer's day. I wish my Fanon would write me, in her own bad way..."

"Do you?" Fanon sat down beside Canon and put her hand on Canon's Kink. "I think that could be arranged."

Canon gasped slashily. "But what about my smutty badfic?"

"I like it," Fanon said bitchily. "I think it's subtexty."

They came together and their kiss was like a 36 part WIP Drace/Harry mpreg.

"I love you," Canon said lustfully.

"I love you too," Fanon replied and wrote her.

They bought a werewolf, moved in together, and lived naughtily ever after.

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[gehayi.livejournal.com]

I love this. Thank you so much.

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[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Thanks, you're welcome:-)

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[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

I think this one is my favorite. Ever.

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[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Claire kissed Brenda and it was an entirely suspicious sensation, like a tin soldier that has just escaped the toy cupboard.

That's worthy of Alan Bennett, that is.

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[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Excuse me? Alan Bennett?

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[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Alan Bennett - very funny talented Brit playwright and writer of TV drama. Very wry, poignant humour that's also very gentle and, to my mind, always underlayed with sadness.