(no subject)

[louiselux]

Matthew and I were discussing my new West Wing obsession last night. He said at one point, 'I'm not sure this is very healthy', or words to that effect. Is it healthy? I know it's not cool, and possibly a bit sad to have such a ridiculously good time reading stories about characters in tv shows. But hey, I never said I was cool.

But is it healthy? It's like a never-ending need to consume. Getting into a new fandom is like falling in love. You think about your new fandom all the time, and find yourself lying awake at night thinking about it, getting distracted at work, writing it love letters. Sometimes I'm surprised that M isn't jealous.

I know I enjoy fanfiction a lot, but the thing that feels most unhealthy is that I don't tell everyone about it, and so never get to have real life conversations about this thing that is a fairly important part of my life A couple of my friends know, but I guess they think it's a bit of an odd thing to do, but accept it because it's me. M is the only person I ever talk about slash with, and he doesn't read it so I can't have a discussion about particular stories etc.

I suppose I don't tell everyone because I'm anticipating their negative reactions and the consequent need to justify myself. Perhaps I'll be brave and just mention it a bit more, in passing. 'oh, I read some really fantastic homoerotic stories last week. You remember the X-Files, right..?' Ho hum. Maybe.

Comments

[askance.livejournal.com]

I wonder whether Matthew thinks the obsession itself isn't healthy or the degree of the obsession ? Perhaps it's the latter and he's not judging what you chose to like, just the energy devoted to it.

I suppose I don't tell everyone because I'm anticipating their negative reactions and the consequent need to justify myself.

Yes, been there, done that, got the t-shirt. I don't mention it to real life friends anymore. My SO knows because it's something I spend a lot of time thinking about but it's not something I feel comfortable talking about with other people. Even hinting that you find the idea of two blokes together seems to be regarded as weird, without bringing in the fanfic aspect.

I'm glad the Net exists, so like-minded people can share their passions easily. Bring on the fanfic !

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it's the latter and he's not judging what you chose to like, just the energy devoted to it.

Yes, I think that's it. I find myself able to devote a large amounts of my time to slash, that arguably could be spent doing other things that are more...constructive. Sometimes I worry that I am spending too much time on slash, reading, or writing, or beta'ing. That's mostly though because it means spending lots of time in front of the computer. I think if I had slasher friends near me, I wouldn't worry about that much.

Regarding mentioning it to friends - I'm afraid of telling people because slash involves many levels of percieved geekiness. There's, a, being so keen to write about characters on TV, films etc, b, being into two men together, c, spending lots of time online with internet friends.

I did actually talk to one of my male friends about it yesterday, as we were having a discussion about pornography versus erotica on the net. (He'd found a site that was about women in wet suits , not wetsuits, wet suits, like business suits. He found this many times more sexy that those close up gynalogical type shots of sex that pass for something exciting.) I told him about some slash stories I'd read and he was really interested. So I sent him a link for the kirk/spock deathbed fisting story, (sounds awful, is really rather moving). I did tell him about it beforehand, and he asked to read it, so it's not like I'm trying to turn his hair white or anything. So...that felt good, to be able to talk sensibly about slash rather than be defensive. Result!

[askance.livejournal.com]

regarding mentioning it to friends - I'm afraid of telling people because slash involves many levels of percieved geekiness.

Hmm, most of my friends are geeks and still I wouldn't tell them. Mostly they're computer geeks and have no souls :)

I told him about some slash stories I'd read and he was really interested. So I sent him a link for the kirk/spock deathbed fisting story, (sounds awful, is really rather moving).

I'm glad you included the link - I have to read this story; deathbed, fisting AND moving ??

One of my male friends found my slash on the net and we had a cool talk about it and how he's thought about writing ff slash but it was still a very scarey experience for me.

Did you mention that you write slash as well as read it ? Is that a whole 'nother level up

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

One of my male friends found my slash on the net and we had a cool talk about it and how he's thought about writing ff slash but it was still a very scarey experience for me.

I can understand that, because I never can really tell how people will react.

Yes, I do write slash too. I would think that that ups the geekiness factor somewhat, because it increases the amount of time spent on fanfic, and also my personal investment in it.

Here are my revised 'levels of percived geekiness':

level 1: being into two men together
level 2: seeing slashy relationships between characters
level 3: spending lots of time at your computer reading other people's fanfic about said characters.
Level 4: joining special mailing lists and posting messages about fanfic
level 5: engaging in complex internet discussions about slash
Level 6: writing you own slash fic based on your favourite characters
Level 7: spending time setting up your own slash-centric website

I think that about covers everything, can you think of anything else? I have to say, I don't feel like an utter loser because I do all these things, but I think many people would think that I was. I suppose you could draw scary parallels with trainspotters and stamp collectors: on some level it must stem from the same need for something.

[askance.livejournal.com]

You've catalogued the seven steps to complete slash addiction. There's only two possibly more steps, neither obligatory

- getting your own domain to run said slash site
- becoming a personality or BNF (big name fan) with assocaited groupies

I'm at stage 7, like you and I think I'm happy to stay there :) See, it could be worse :)