Hey, it's 58 day! So, I have had this fic sitting around for a while and today seemed the perfect excuse to post some 58 smut. ♥
Fic: Attachment
Pairing: Hakkai/Gojyo
Warnings: explicit m/m, not worksafe
Notes: because
emungere made me want to put Gojyo in a collar too.
Attachment
Hakkai gave him the box one evening, laying it on the table next to his coffee cup and cigarettes. It had a ribbon wrapped round it.
"What is it?" Gojyo said, staring at it.
"It's a gift," Hakkai said.
Gojyo huffed out a plume of smoke.
"For me? What for?"
He put a hand out to touch the box, then stubbed his cigarette out so he could pick it up properly and shake it. It was very light and didn't make a noise. Hakkai was smiling, almost. Gojyo raised his brows, holding it up in both hands.
"I saw it and thought of you," Hakkai said.
That was-- it was nice, Gojyo thought. He tried to remember if he'd ever bought Hakkai anything. But then, why would he? It hadn't occurred to him that he should, or that Hakkai might want it. If Hakkai wanted something he'd say, wouldn't he? Gojyo stared at the box. Because Hakkai always explained exactly what he wanted. Except, not so much.
Like last month in the bar, when he'd bought Fumi over to say hi. Okay, maybe it had been a bit tactless, but Gojyo had had too many beers by then to care too much and he'd had some weird fantasy in his head about Hakkai grabbing hold of him in front of everyone and taking him home. He flushed, thinking about it now.
It wasn't like Hakkai ever wanted to talk about anything beyond Let me, please, whispered late at night, burning up the air between them. He let his hair fall over his face at the memory, as if Hakkai would be able to read it in his eyes; Hakkai's hands curving over his body and his tongue sliding into Gojyo's mouth.
Not that Gojyo had ever brought it up himself, either. But he thought about it, more and more. It just seemed impossible to open his mouth and ask Hakkai what the hell was going on with them. So he didn't. They fucked sometimes; he could just leave it at that.
She was a dancer, she'd said, nuzzling his neck. On the stage. Or just a stage, he wasn't sure. Fumi had dark hair that tumbled in heavy curls and pale blue eyes and an ass that jiggled just right when she walked. Gojyo had wanted to see it jiggle under other circumstances, really badly wanted that, and why the hell not? It wasn't like he had many girls these days. Any, even.
It was easy to tell himself there was no reason why he couldn't have this. It wasn't like Hakkai really gave a shit, was it? Except Hakkai had stood there acting like Fumi was a bad smell, smiling grimly at her, so that she'd backed off a step. But he hadn't said a word to Gojyo. Gojyo had gone back to Fumi's cramped apartment and they fucked until he'd almost been able to forget that Hakkai must've had to walk home alone.
Gojyo had refused to feel guilty the next afternoon, when he'd finally rolled in, decorated with Fumi's love bites and the flower-garden scent of her perfume. Hakkai had been just as he always was, smiling and distant, the house even more spotless than usual, the atmosphere as chilly as a damp cellar.
So much for his plan of goading him into saying something. Doing something. Whatever. It was hard to say exactly what it was he had wanted to happen. It hadn't been much of a plan because Hakkai had kept stubbornly silent about it and in the end Gojyo couldn't work out if he was glad about that or not.
That had been weeks ago, and Hakkai hadn't touched him since, not even accidentally. The last time had been a week before Fumi; one wet, cold night when Hakkai had knelt over him in his warm bed and had sucked his cock, slowly and carefully licking every part of it until Gojyo had arched up off the bed, his voice breaking on Hakkai's name.
Gojyo put the box down now and pulled at the ribbon. It fell away, slithering off the table into his lap. He lifted the lid and saw tissue paper, and inside that he saw a red curl of leather. At first he thought it was a belt, but it was too small. He picked up and held it out. It was a collar. It looked like the kind of thing you might fix round a dog's neck, but this was clearly for people, or at least he thought so. The leather was stiff and the edges were slightly rough. It looked like it might dig in a little and rub. It was exactly the same shade of red as his eyes.
"Uh. Thanks," he remembered to say. It had small silver rivets and buckle at the back, with a small silver ring dangling from it. It looked expensive and he knew Hakkai didn't have much money.
"It's for when you go out," Hakkai said. "I thought you might like to wear it."
"For when I go out?" he repeated, thinking of Fumi and of Hakkai's icy smile. His hot wet mouth.
Hakkai nodded, smiling slightly. For when he went out. Wearing Hakkai's collar. He turned it round. From the buckle hung a small round silver tag. It was blank. He didn't know what he was expecting it to say: property of Cho Hakkai, maybe.
He rubbed a thumb over the rivets, examining them. They had sharp tips that dug into the soft pads of his fingers. He swallowed, wondering what it would look like on Hakkai, the red against his white skin.
Hakkai was watching him, his gaze moving from the collar to Gojyo's hands to his mouth. Gojyo shifted slightly. His jeans felt too tight. He wanted to put it on. He wanted Hakkai to see.
"Do you like it?"
"Uh, yeah," he said, looking up at Hakkai. It was hard to drag his gaze away.
"Perhaps you should try it on," Hakkai murmured. "To see if it fits. We can always get it adjusted."
We. Gojyo nodded. He held it to his throat and his fingers slipped on the buckle.
"Here, let me help," said Hakkai.
"Thanks," Gojyo said.
The tips of his fingers were cool and tickled where they brushed Gojyo's neck, pulling his hair gently away and up. Hakkai took the collar and fastened it, giving it a little sharp tug that made Gojyo almost jump in his seat.
"I don't think it's going to slip off," Hakkai said, behind him.
Heat radiated from his body, all the way up Gojyo's back. His hand rested lightly on Gojyo's shoulder, fingers curling a little, thumb brushing his bare neck just underneath where the collar sat. The skin there prickled.
"Wouldn't want that," Gojyo said, having to swallow to get his mouth to work properly. "So, does it look okay?" he said.
He wanted to get up and look, but he didn't think he could move away from Hakkai right now. His erection was hot against his own thigh where it was trapped in his jeans.
"Let me see," Hakkai said, backing off now. His hand slipped away from Gojyo's skin. Gojyo turned in his chair. "It suits you very much," Hakkai said. He sounded serious.
Gojyo stood up and walked into the bathroom to look, discreetly adjusting himself on the way. His face was flushed and he could feel the heat in his face and across his chest. The collar looked good, he could see that. It circled his neck, somehow making it seem longer. The match between it and his hair was uncanny and the small spikes gleamed in the dim light. It made him look almost -- pretty. The thought made his face flare hotter. The chicks would love it.
He quickly unbuckled it and leant on the cool sink for a moment, trying to collect himself. He listened to the faint sound of Hakkai piling breakfast things in the sink and willed his dick to go down.
***
He put the collar back in its box and left it there. He couldn't quite bring himself to wear it. It seemed too special for an ordinary night. Hakkai didn't mention it, but he became fractionally more relaxed and he stopped acting as if Gojyo was carrying some sort of disease. Gojyo didn't mind him not mentioning it. It was enough to know it was there, waiting.
Gojyo jerked off at night in his little room, thinking about Hakkai in the red collar, sucking his dick; Hakkai naked with him, hot and wanting it; the way Hakkai had pulled it tight against his skin when he'd fixed it on. In the daytime he tried not to think about it at all.
"Gonna come with me to the bar tonight? It's Jiro's birthday," Gojyo said, a few weeks later, watching Hakkai stare out of the window at the grey clouds. "They miss you down there," he went on.
Hakkai turned to look at him with a puzzled little frown.
"Do they?" Hakkai said.
"Yeah, you know that. Especially the ladies," Gojyo said, touching Hakkai's shoulder. Hakkai didn't pull away but he didn't lean closer either.
"Oh. The ladies."
"What?"
"They're more your department, aren't they?" Hakkai said.
"Yeah. Well. I dunno," said Gojyo, his throat going dry.
Hakkai's shoulders had gone stiff and Gojyo couldn't quite meet his eyes. Hakkai hadn't shown his face there for weeks, since Fumi. Yeah, maybe she hadn't been such a great idea.
"I'll think about it," Hakkai said.
Gojyo nodded. "You do that."
Later that day, he washed carefully then put on his best jeans, the leather ones that clung to his thighs. He found his comb and pulled it through his hair and then he took out the box and fastened the collar round his neck, a bright band of red against his skin. He didn't bother with a shirt, just slung on a jacket.
"So, you comin'?" he asked Hakkai.
Hakkai looked him over silently, eyes a little too wide, then nodded.
Hakkai looked like he was having a good time. He was laughing at something with Jiro and Gojyo noticed that his hand was never free of a drink. Someone would come along and press another on him. The bar was noisy and hot and loud. Gojyo moved from table to table, drinking a little too fast, until the beer tasted sour on his tongue and his head got heavy and thick. The collar rubbed against his skin when he turned his head to look for Hakkai. Hakkai had gravitated to a quiet corner where he was playing cards with Mr Shen the grocer. Gojyo waved once and Hakkai nodded and smiled. He said something to Mr Shen and they laughed.
"Hello Gojyo," someone said. Fumi.
"Oh. Hey," Gojyo said. She was as pretty as ever.
"Mmm, this looks so cool," she whispered, leaning in close and touching the silver studs. "I like it. Can I sit here?" and she landed in his lap, laughing and wriggled her ass against his crotch.
Over her shoulder, piled with her dark curls, he saw Hakkai turning his head. Their eyes met and Hakkai didn't look away until Gojyo dropped his gaze.
"Fumi⦠" he began, realising that he didn't have that much experience in turning girls down. Because he was going to.
"I'm guessing you're not allowed out to play tonight, Gojyo," she said, her voice a little too sharp.
"No. It's not that," he began to say, then stopped.
It was that, wasn't it? Kind of. Fumi huffed and pushed herself up.
"Whatever. Anyway, I really don't wanna piss your man off," she said, still loud.
A few faces turned his way and he ignored them and willed himself not to go red. Redder. His face already tingled from the alcohol, from Fumi, and the immense heat in the room. He wondered if Hakkai had heard. Hakkai had turned away and all he could see now through the crowd was his arm, still holding a fan of cards, and the fall of his dark hair.
He walked over and pulled up a spare chair, close enough so that he could lean on Hakkai's shoulder. Hakkai made a small, soft noise and shifted a little, but only so that Gojyo was propped up more firmly.
"Are you drunk?" Hakkai asked.
"Nah. Yeah. I'm just happy," Gojyo said.
"How happy?" Hakkai said.
Something tingled at the base of his spine at Hakkai's words and Gojyo settled a little more heavily against him, his heart starting to thump. Hakkai felt good, really good: warm and solid against his side.
"Wanna go?" Gojyo said.
"Let me finish this hand. Do you mind?" Hakkai said, turning to him. His lips were very close to Gojyo's ear and his hair brushed across Gojyo's cheek.
"Not at all," Gojyo said, and Hakkai smiled then, a sweet, secret smile.
Mr Shen tapped his cards on the table a little too loudly and they played for a while longer, until Gojyo thought he might fall asleep. Hakkai won his hand against Mr Shen, perhaps in revenge for his impatience. But he probably would've won anyway. He usually did. Hakkai pulled him up and they found their coats and left, slipping out of the door with a gust of heat and noise and goodbyes following them. It faded as the door swung shut behind them, leaving them in silence. The street was empty. It was relief to be outside and fresh sharp air washed over Gojyo's heated skin and made him shiver. They only made it a little way down the darkened road before Hakkai put a hand on his arm to stop him.
"Gojyo," Hakkai began, and then he was being walked backwards, slowly but unstoppably until his back hit the wall of a closed-up bakery and Hakkai was pressing the whole length of his body up against Gojyo's.
"Oh," said Gojyo. "Oh." His brain didn't seem to be working. "Are you gonna-- ?"
Hakkai kissed him. His lips were warm and soft and tasted of rice wine and something salty. They pressed gently to his, unmoving, until Gojyo put both arms round Hakkai's waist and pulled him up close and tight. Hakkai groaned then, and his tongue licked across Gojyo's lips, parting them. He pushed a hand into Gojyo's hair, cupping the back of his head to draw him closer. His tongue slid into Gojyo's mouth, pushing against his own as their mouths moved together. He almost didn't notice Hakkai's other hand. It was doing something to Gojyo's collar.
"What-- ?" Gojyo panted, pulling back a little.
Hakkai was very close, smiling at him. He kissed Gojyo, hard, and Gojyo almost missed the brush of cold metal at his neck, the tiny, sharp click and the chink of metal chain. He put his hand up and his fingers touched smooth, hard links. It was a leash. Hakkai was holding the other end, a loop of red leather that matched the collar.
"Hey," he said, but Hakkai was crowding up close again, not giving him room to move.
"You look so good," Hakkai whispered, against his lips, sounding almost feverish. He licked across them and gave the leash a tiny tug. "Do you mind?" he breathed.
He rubbed himself against Gojyo's leg. His erection was hot and hard against Gojyo's thigh. Hakkai shortened the leash, not waiting for an answer before wrapping it round his fist and pulling Gojyo closer. Bringing their lips together.
"I-- I-- " Gojyo had no idea if he minded or not. His dick certainly didn't. Fuck. He breathed deep, but that only made him feel dizzier. He squeezed his eyes shut for a second. Had he known something like this might happen, when he'd first seen it? "What's this-- I mean, why?" he managed, finally, running his fingers along the leash until he touched Hakkai's fist.
"I just-- wanted to walk you home," Hakkai said.
"Yeah, but 'walk' as in-- the dog?" Gojyo said, swallowing hard.
Hakkai bent his head and kissed Gojyo's neck, letting his teeth fix lightly on Gojyo's skin. When Hakkai traced the edge of the collar with his tongue, leaving a cooling wet stripe on his skin, he gave out a faint soft moan because he couldn't keep it in. He could feel Hakkai worry at it with his teeth.
"Dogs have a habit of chasing bitches," Hakkai said, lips moving on his skin, and gave the leash another tug, a little harder this time. "It's best to keep them on a tight lead."
"Oh," Gojyo said, letting out a long, shuddery breath. "Right." He put his arms round Hakkai's waist, pulling his shirt out to slide his hands across smooth, warm skin. "You could've just said something," he said quietly.
But when did they ever? Even going this far seemed terrifying.
Hakkai sighed and pressed his face into Gojyo's neck. He was silent for a heartbeat, long enough for Gojyo to wonder if he'd said the wrong thing.
"I think it's time we went home, don't you?" He unwound the leash and stepped away. It fell in a silver arc between them. Was Hakkai really expecting him to be pulled along on a leash?
"Like-- like this?"
"Alternatively, I'm sure there are plenty of others inside who would be delighted to keep you company, Gojyo," he added.
Yeah, he was, apparently. His smile made Gojyo shiver and when he tugged, making the metal chain jingle, Gojyo stepped forward without thinking. Hakkai's fingers were clenched and shaking, his knuckles white.
"Okay," Gojyo said, then raised the hand that held the leash and kissed it. It was worth it to see Hakkai's wide eyed expression. He looked almost alarmed.
Hakkai walked close to him on the way home, shoulder to shoulder, so that a passer by might not have noticed anything odd. Hakkai's profile was calm and relaxed and from time to time he'd turn his head and smile.
"All right, Gojyo?"
"Yeah," Gojyo said.
He was surprisingly all right. The long chain fell across his bare chest and disappeared into Hakkai's pocket. Hakkai seemed to be taking care not to yank it and after a short while it began to seem less strange. Gojyo couldn't forget it was there: the soft rhythmical clinking raced straight down his spine. He tried not to wonder what the hell it meant that Hakkai could chain him up in public and it got him hard and aching.
But when they got home Hakkai let him go, handing him the end of his own leash. There were two high spots of colour in his cheeks and he looked down, not meeting Gojyo's eyes. Gojyo didn't know what he was expecting but it wasn't this.
"What's wrong? You mean you don't wanna-- "
--fuck me like this? his brain supplied and he had to close his eyes momentarily against the flood of heat it bought.
"Gojyo," Hakkai began, then stopped. Gojyo silently pressed the end of the leash back into Hakkai's hand and curled his fingers over it. "I don't own you," said Hakkai quietly. "You can do whatever you like."
"I know that," Gojyo said, finally. "Idiot."
Gojyo hooked one thumb in the waistband of his pants, dragging them down so that they showed more skin. It felt good to make Hakkai stare like that.
"Oh. Good," Hakkai whispered.
"So, what's the problem?" said Gojyo.
Hakkai looked up at Gojyo then and his eyes were suddenly sharp and hot, burning over Gojyo's skin. He held up the leash so it was taut between them. The collar was heavy round his neck, far heavier than it should be, or maybe he was just more aware of it. Hakkai pulled him in, hand over hand, until they were close enough to press their mouths together.
"My bed," Hakkai gasped. "Please."
"Okay," and he led the way on legs that were shaking.
Hakkai followed behind, letting the leash chain stretch between them. Once there it seemed only natural to let his knees finally give way. The length of chain scraped on the floor as Hakkai combed his fingers through Gojyo's hair, over and over as Gojyo fumbled at his zip. As Gojyo began to suck, Hakkai sighed and smoothed his hair back from his face and over his shoulders, tracing along his jaw with tender fingers. Gojyo was hit with a rush of stupid, blinding happiness.
The collar at his throat seemed more constricting like this, tighter as moved his lips down Hakkai's shaft, feeling it stretch his mouth. He groaned and took in more, curling his tongue around the head, until Hakkai pulled out of his mouth, suddenly. He dropped to his knees with a moan that sounded like pain and kissed Gojyo hard, teeth scraping his lips, hands tangling tight in his hair and breath coming too sharp, too fast. Panting, Gojyo held him back a little. It was hard, because Hakkai didn't want to stop, or couldn't.
"Shit. Wait," he gasped, getting his arms round Hakkai's neck. "Slow down," he said. Hakkai was shaking against him, arms crushingly tight. "Hakkai," he said, pressing their foreheads together.
Hakkai nodded, eyes shut. He was silent for a long, breathless moment. Gojyo listened to his alarm clock ticking on the bedside table, and to the thudding of his own heart and Hakkai's harsh-sounding breaths. "I want you so much," Hakkai murmured, eventually. It was almost too quiet to hear. It could easily have got lost in the dimly lit room with its faint sounds. "So much."
"I know," Gojyo said, surprising himself, because he thought that he really did. Maybe always had.
"You don't need this," Hakkai went on, louder, and he reached out and scrabbled for the buckle. "I'm sorry. I should never have-- "
"Don't," Gojyo said, pulling Hakkai's hands away before he could even get the buckle open. He didn't want to lose it. "I want it, okay?" Gojyo kissed him again, taking it slow. He cupped Hakkai's dick in one hand and stroked, easy and light until Hakkai was melting into him and making soft pleased noises. "I like it."
"Oh Gojyo," said Hakkai softly.
He didn't know who rose first, him or Hakkai, but they were pulling each other up, Hakkai's arms wrapped tight round him, and they almost fell the few steps to the bed, tumbling together in a tangle of arms and legs and hot, messy kisses. Hakkai had to unhook the leash from his wrist to get his shirt off. Gojyo pushed his pants down and Hakkai pulled his boots off. Clothes and shoes ended up tangled on the floor in a heap and then Hakkai was naked and kneeling over him, watching him, one hand wrapped round his own cock, the other searching for and finding the end of the leash once more. He wrapped it round his fist, shifting it so it snaked in a thin silver line over Gojyo's chest, down over his stomach, curling on cold loops over his stiff cock.. Hakkai reached down and slid his thumb through the fluid at the tip, then put it to his mouth and sucked.
"What-- what do you want?" Gojyo asked, unable to stop staring.
Hakkai's eyes were dark. "You," he said, stroking himself.
"Yeah? Good," Gojyo breathed.
"And I want you to turn over," Hakkai said.
Gojyo squirmed onto his stomach, mouth dry. He heard the clink of chain as Hakkai picked up the leash, felt the pull at his throat as Hakkai tugged gently, pulling him to his hands and knees. His cock pressed against Gojyo's ass. It felt enormous: thick and hot and hard. The collar slid up his neck, digging in under his chin and making it harder to breathe, just a little.
"Ah-- it's tight," Gojyo gasped.
"I like you like this," Hakkai said, softly, rubbing himself against Gojyo, but he loosened his grip a little.
He pushed himself back, felt the strain as Hakkai shortened the leash, pulling his head up. He breathed deep, dizzy with it. Hakkai slid his palm along Gojyo's shaft, stroking up and down, then dragged his nails lightly across his tight balls. Gojyo bit his lip but couldn't keep quiet. The soft, hoarse moans he was making sounded just like Fumi as he'd fucked her. Just like her. Hakkai draped himself over Gojyo's back and pressed his lips to Gojyo's ear.
"May I fuck you, please, Gojyo?" Hakkai whispered, pulling Gojyo's head back further, still very gentle, but unstoppable. The head of his cock nudged over Gojyo's hole, then slipped hot between his thighs, pressing against his balls. His spit-wet finger slid in, opening him up. "May I?" Hakkai breathed, pulling the leash tighter.
Gojyo was sure he could hear a breath of laughter in Hakkai's voice. Hakkai's finger started to move, in and out in an achingly slow tease.
"Yeah. Yeah, please," he said.
"Stay like that," Hakkai said.
Gojyo waited, head down and eyes closed, trying to breathe slow. Moments later Hakkai was back and Gojyo could hear the slick going on, then cool fingers slipping inside him, going fast and deep, stealing the breath from his lungs. It was almost too much. He didn't give Gojyo time to get his breath before he was sinking in. Gojyo pressed his face to the sheets and moaned, loud, his mouth open. He dug his fingers into the bedclothes, nearly wanting to crawl away.
"Gojyo," Hakkai said, in a soft, shaky voice. "You'd better not move, or I'm going to come very quickly. I don't want that."
Hakkai stayed still and Gojyo began to tremble. Hakkai was pulsing inside him. He could feel it. He didn't dare move. Instead he just tried to breathe, letting his muscles relax, letting himself feel. Hakkai ran a hand along his spine, slow and warm.
"Touch yourself," he whispered.
He could hardly wait. Balanced on one hand, Hakkai, pressed tight, skin to skin, he curled his palm around himself and began to stroke, quick and fast. The chain was digging into his hip were Hakkai was gripping too tight, but Hakkai was saying his name and moving faster, rocking into him and curving down over his body.
He gave a faint moan as Hakkai stretching him wider, sinking in to the hilt and holding there, tight and hard and hot, deep inside. Gojyo let go of his aching cock and reached further, cupping Hakkai's balls, then sliding his fingers up to where he was sunk into Gojyo's body. He squeezed him tight.
"Gojyo. Gojyo," Hakkai said, and his voice was suddenly high and strained.
At the sound of it, desperate and needy, Gojyo clamped his hand back round his cock and began to jerk himself, hard. He was too hot, burning up with it inside as Hakkai began to move, holding him down now and fucking him in short, hard merciless strokes.
Gojyo gave in and collapsed face down, burning cheek pressed to cool sheets, fingers of one hand scrabbling at the pillows as Hakkai adjusted his grip, shifting closer and driving him into the bed, his hips moving wildly until Gojyo couldn't think, could hardly breathe, could only feel Hakkai and the collar round his throat, Hakkai's collar that he'd bought only for Gojyo, so Gojyo knew who to come home to.
He opened his eyes wide and spurted into his own slick palm, sweet and so sharp, almost painful. Hakkai's hand curled tight round his collar and the other buried itself in Gojyo's hair, holding him in place as Hakkai fucked him, saying his name low and hot, shoving in until he came, hard, wrapping his arms round Gojyo's chest, face pressed to his neck as his cock pulsed inside him.
They rocked together and the sound of their slowing breath filled the room. Hakkai slipped out of him after what seemed like a very long time, although Gojyo couldn't be sure because his brain didn't seem to be working very well. They collapsed onto the blankets, Hakkai pressed to his back, warm and heavy, until Gojyo's eyes were closing and he was on the edge of sleep. He didn't want to though, not yet. And anyhow, he was uncomfortably sticky.
Hakkai's hands loosened and stroked over his back and arms, feather light as if he was worried Gojyo might notice. Those soft touches on his neck must be Hakkai's lips, Gojyo thought. The metal chain was skin-warm now. It was draped over his back, curling down between them. He smiled to himself.
Hakkai's fingers tugged carefully at the buckle for a few moments and Gojyo sighed when it came free. It made a faint metallic clink on the wood as Hakkai placed the collar and leash carefully on the nightstand. His neck felt bare without it, until Hakkai's fingers carefully traced the heated path where it had been. He turned over.
"I'm sorry," Hakkai said, sounding so concerned that Gojyo had to smile.
"What for?"
Hakkai's hands flattened on his chest, warming him.
"It really does suit you, you know," Hakkai said, after a few moments.
"Yeah," said Gojyo. "It does."
Fic: Attachment
Pairing: Hakkai/Gojyo
Warnings: explicit m/m, not worksafe
Notes: because
Attachment
Hakkai gave him the box one evening, laying it on the table next to his coffee cup and cigarettes. It had a ribbon wrapped round it.
"What is it?" Gojyo said, staring at it.
"It's a gift," Hakkai said.
Gojyo huffed out a plume of smoke.
"For me? What for?"
He put a hand out to touch the box, then stubbed his cigarette out so he could pick it up properly and shake it. It was very light and didn't make a noise. Hakkai was smiling, almost. Gojyo raised his brows, holding it up in both hands.
"I saw it and thought of you," Hakkai said.
That was-- it was nice, Gojyo thought. He tried to remember if he'd ever bought Hakkai anything. But then, why would he? It hadn't occurred to him that he should, or that Hakkai might want it. If Hakkai wanted something he'd say, wouldn't he? Gojyo stared at the box. Because Hakkai always explained exactly what he wanted. Except, not so much.
Like last month in the bar, when he'd bought Fumi over to say hi. Okay, maybe it had been a bit tactless, but Gojyo had had too many beers by then to care too much and he'd had some weird fantasy in his head about Hakkai grabbing hold of him in front of everyone and taking him home. He flushed, thinking about it now.
It wasn't like Hakkai ever wanted to talk about anything beyond Let me, please, whispered late at night, burning up the air between them. He let his hair fall over his face at the memory, as if Hakkai would be able to read it in his eyes; Hakkai's hands curving over his body and his tongue sliding into Gojyo's mouth.
Not that Gojyo had ever brought it up himself, either. But he thought about it, more and more. It just seemed impossible to open his mouth and ask Hakkai what the hell was going on with them. So he didn't. They fucked sometimes; he could just leave it at that.
She was a dancer, she'd said, nuzzling his neck. On the stage. Or just a stage, he wasn't sure. Fumi had dark hair that tumbled in heavy curls and pale blue eyes and an ass that jiggled just right when she walked. Gojyo had wanted to see it jiggle under other circumstances, really badly wanted that, and why the hell not? It wasn't like he had many girls these days. Any, even.
It was easy to tell himself there was no reason why he couldn't have this. It wasn't like Hakkai really gave a shit, was it? Except Hakkai had stood there acting like Fumi was a bad smell, smiling grimly at her, so that she'd backed off a step. But he hadn't said a word to Gojyo. Gojyo had gone back to Fumi's cramped apartment and they fucked until he'd almost been able to forget that Hakkai must've had to walk home alone.
Gojyo had refused to feel guilty the next afternoon, when he'd finally rolled in, decorated with Fumi's love bites and the flower-garden scent of her perfume. Hakkai had been just as he always was, smiling and distant, the house even more spotless than usual, the atmosphere as chilly as a damp cellar.
So much for his plan of goading him into saying something. Doing something. Whatever. It was hard to say exactly what it was he had wanted to happen. It hadn't been much of a plan because Hakkai had kept stubbornly silent about it and in the end Gojyo couldn't work out if he was glad about that or not.
That had been weeks ago, and Hakkai hadn't touched him since, not even accidentally. The last time had been a week before Fumi; one wet, cold night when Hakkai had knelt over him in his warm bed and had sucked his cock, slowly and carefully licking every part of it until Gojyo had arched up off the bed, his voice breaking on Hakkai's name.
Gojyo put the box down now and pulled at the ribbon. It fell away, slithering off the table into his lap. He lifted the lid and saw tissue paper, and inside that he saw a red curl of leather. At first he thought it was a belt, but it was too small. He picked up and held it out. It was a collar. It looked like the kind of thing you might fix round a dog's neck, but this was clearly for people, or at least he thought so. The leather was stiff and the edges were slightly rough. It looked like it might dig in a little and rub. It was exactly the same shade of red as his eyes.
"Uh. Thanks," he remembered to say. It had small silver rivets and buckle at the back, with a small silver ring dangling from it. It looked expensive and he knew Hakkai didn't have much money.
"It's for when you go out," Hakkai said. "I thought you might like to wear it."
"For when I go out?" he repeated, thinking of Fumi and of Hakkai's icy smile. His hot wet mouth.
Hakkai nodded, smiling slightly. For when he went out. Wearing Hakkai's collar. He turned it round. From the buckle hung a small round silver tag. It was blank. He didn't know what he was expecting it to say: property of Cho Hakkai, maybe.
He rubbed a thumb over the rivets, examining them. They had sharp tips that dug into the soft pads of his fingers. He swallowed, wondering what it would look like on Hakkai, the red against his white skin.
Hakkai was watching him, his gaze moving from the collar to Gojyo's hands to his mouth. Gojyo shifted slightly. His jeans felt too tight. He wanted to put it on. He wanted Hakkai to see.
"Do you like it?"
"Uh, yeah," he said, looking up at Hakkai. It was hard to drag his gaze away.
"Perhaps you should try it on," Hakkai murmured. "To see if it fits. We can always get it adjusted."
We. Gojyo nodded. He held it to his throat and his fingers slipped on the buckle.
"Here, let me help," said Hakkai.
"Thanks," Gojyo said.
The tips of his fingers were cool and tickled where they brushed Gojyo's neck, pulling his hair gently away and up. Hakkai took the collar and fastened it, giving it a little sharp tug that made Gojyo almost jump in his seat.
"I don't think it's going to slip off," Hakkai said, behind him.
Heat radiated from his body, all the way up Gojyo's back. His hand rested lightly on Gojyo's shoulder, fingers curling a little, thumb brushing his bare neck just underneath where the collar sat. The skin there prickled.
"Wouldn't want that," Gojyo said, having to swallow to get his mouth to work properly. "So, does it look okay?" he said.
He wanted to get up and look, but he didn't think he could move away from Hakkai right now. His erection was hot against his own thigh where it was trapped in his jeans.
"Let me see," Hakkai said, backing off now. His hand slipped away from Gojyo's skin. Gojyo turned in his chair. "It suits you very much," Hakkai said. He sounded serious.
Gojyo stood up and walked into the bathroom to look, discreetly adjusting himself on the way. His face was flushed and he could feel the heat in his face and across his chest. The collar looked good, he could see that. It circled his neck, somehow making it seem longer. The match between it and his hair was uncanny and the small spikes gleamed in the dim light. It made him look almost -- pretty. The thought made his face flare hotter. The chicks would love it.
He quickly unbuckled it and leant on the cool sink for a moment, trying to collect himself. He listened to the faint sound of Hakkai piling breakfast things in the sink and willed his dick to go down.
***
He put the collar back in its box and left it there. He couldn't quite bring himself to wear it. It seemed too special for an ordinary night. Hakkai didn't mention it, but he became fractionally more relaxed and he stopped acting as if Gojyo was carrying some sort of disease. Gojyo didn't mind him not mentioning it. It was enough to know it was there, waiting.
Gojyo jerked off at night in his little room, thinking about Hakkai in the red collar, sucking his dick; Hakkai naked with him, hot and wanting it; the way Hakkai had pulled it tight against his skin when he'd fixed it on. In the daytime he tried not to think about it at all.
"Gonna come with me to the bar tonight? It's Jiro's birthday," Gojyo said, a few weeks later, watching Hakkai stare out of the window at the grey clouds. "They miss you down there," he went on.
Hakkai turned to look at him with a puzzled little frown.
"Do they?" Hakkai said.
"Yeah, you know that. Especially the ladies," Gojyo said, touching Hakkai's shoulder. Hakkai didn't pull away but he didn't lean closer either.
"Oh. The ladies."
"What?"
"They're more your department, aren't they?" Hakkai said.
"Yeah. Well. I dunno," said Gojyo, his throat going dry.
Hakkai's shoulders had gone stiff and Gojyo couldn't quite meet his eyes. Hakkai hadn't shown his face there for weeks, since Fumi. Yeah, maybe she hadn't been such a great idea.
"I'll think about it," Hakkai said.
Gojyo nodded. "You do that."
Later that day, he washed carefully then put on his best jeans, the leather ones that clung to his thighs. He found his comb and pulled it through his hair and then he took out the box and fastened the collar round his neck, a bright band of red against his skin. He didn't bother with a shirt, just slung on a jacket.
"So, you comin'?" he asked Hakkai.
Hakkai looked him over silently, eyes a little too wide, then nodded.
Hakkai looked like he was having a good time. He was laughing at something with Jiro and Gojyo noticed that his hand was never free of a drink. Someone would come along and press another on him. The bar was noisy and hot and loud. Gojyo moved from table to table, drinking a little too fast, until the beer tasted sour on his tongue and his head got heavy and thick. The collar rubbed against his skin when he turned his head to look for Hakkai. Hakkai had gravitated to a quiet corner where he was playing cards with Mr Shen the grocer. Gojyo waved once and Hakkai nodded and smiled. He said something to Mr Shen and they laughed.
"Hello Gojyo," someone said. Fumi.
"Oh. Hey," Gojyo said. She was as pretty as ever.
"Mmm, this looks so cool," she whispered, leaning in close and touching the silver studs. "I like it. Can I sit here?" and she landed in his lap, laughing and wriggled her ass against his crotch.
Over her shoulder, piled with her dark curls, he saw Hakkai turning his head. Their eyes met and Hakkai didn't look away until Gojyo dropped his gaze.
"Fumi⦠" he began, realising that he didn't have that much experience in turning girls down. Because he was going to.
"I'm guessing you're not allowed out to play tonight, Gojyo," she said, her voice a little too sharp.
"No. It's not that," he began to say, then stopped.
It was that, wasn't it? Kind of. Fumi huffed and pushed herself up.
"Whatever. Anyway, I really don't wanna piss your man off," she said, still loud.
A few faces turned his way and he ignored them and willed himself not to go red. Redder. His face already tingled from the alcohol, from Fumi, and the immense heat in the room. He wondered if Hakkai had heard. Hakkai had turned away and all he could see now through the crowd was his arm, still holding a fan of cards, and the fall of his dark hair.
He walked over and pulled up a spare chair, close enough so that he could lean on Hakkai's shoulder. Hakkai made a small, soft noise and shifted a little, but only so that Gojyo was propped up more firmly.
"Are you drunk?" Hakkai asked.
"Nah. Yeah. I'm just happy," Gojyo said.
"How happy?" Hakkai said.
Something tingled at the base of his spine at Hakkai's words and Gojyo settled a little more heavily against him, his heart starting to thump. Hakkai felt good, really good: warm and solid against his side.
"Wanna go?" Gojyo said.
"Let me finish this hand. Do you mind?" Hakkai said, turning to him. His lips were very close to Gojyo's ear and his hair brushed across Gojyo's cheek.
"Not at all," Gojyo said, and Hakkai smiled then, a sweet, secret smile.
Mr Shen tapped his cards on the table a little too loudly and they played for a while longer, until Gojyo thought he might fall asleep. Hakkai won his hand against Mr Shen, perhaps in revenge for his impatience. But he probably would've won anyway. He usually did. Hakkai pulled him up and they found their coats and left, slipping out of the door with a gust of heat and noise and goodbyes following them. It faded as the door swung shut behind them, leaving them in silence. The street was empty. It was relief to be outside and fresh sharp air washed over Gojyo's heated skin and made him shiver. They only made it a little way down the darkened road before Hakkai put a hand on his arm to stop him.
"Gojyo," Hakkai began, and then he was being walked backwards, slowly but unstoppably until his back hit the wall of a closed-up bakery and Hakkai was pressing the whole length of his body up against Gojyo's.
"Oh," said Gojyo. "Oh." His brain didn't seem to be working. "Are you gonna-- ?"
Hakkai kissed him. His lips were warm and soft and tasted of rice wine and something salty. They pressed gently to his, unmoving, until Gojyo put both arms round Hakkai's waist and pulled him up close and tight. Hakkai groaned then, and his tongue licked across Gojyo's lips, parting them. He pushed a hand into Gojyo's hair, cupping the back of his head to draw him closer. His tongue slid into Gojyo's mouth, pushing against his own as their mouths moved together. He almost didn't notice Hakkai's other hand. It was doing something to Gojyo's collar.
"What-- ?" Gojyo panted, pulling back a little.
Hakkai was very close, smiling at him. He kissed Gojyo, hard, and Gojyo almost missed the brush of cold metal at his neck, the tiny, sharp click and the chink of metal chain. He put his hand up and his fingers touched smooth, hard links. It was a leash. Hakkai was holding the other end, a loop of red leather that matched the collar.
"Hey," he said, but Hakkai was crowding up close again, not giving him room to move.
"You look so good," Hakkai whispered, against his lips, sounding almost feverish. He licked across them and gave the leash a tiny tug. "Do you mind?" he breathed.
He rubbed himself against Gojyo's leg. His erection was hot and hard against Gojyo's thigh. Hakkai shortened the leash, not waiting for an answer before wrapping it round his fist and pulling Gojyo closer. Bringing their lips together.
"I-- I-- " Gojyo had no idea if he minded or not. His dick certainly didn't. Fuck. He breathed deep, but that only made him feel dizzier. He squeezed his eyes shut for a second. Had he known something like this might happen, when he'd first seen it? "What's this-- I mean, why?" he managed, finally, running his fingers along the leash until he touched Hakkai's fist.
"I just-- wanted to walk you home," Hakkai said.
"Yeah, but 'walk' as in-- the dog?" Gojyo said, swallowing hard.
Hakkai bent his head and kissed Gojyo's neck, letting his teeth fix lightly on Gojyo's skin. When Hakkai traced the edge of the collar with his tongue, leaving a cooling wet stripe on his skin, he gave out a faint soft moan because he couldn't keep it in. He could feel Hakkai worry at it with his teeth.
"Dogs have a habit of chasing bitches," Hakkai said, lips moving on his skin, and gave the leash another tug, a little harder this time. "It's best to keep them on a tight lead."
"Oh," Gojyo said, letting out a long, shuddery breath. "Right." He put his arms round Hakkai's waist, pulling his shirt out to slide his hands across smooth, warm skin. "You could've just said something," he said quietly.
But when did they ever? Even going this far seemed terrifying.
Hakkai sighed and pressed his face into Gojyo's neck. He was silent for a heartbeat, long enough for Gojyo to wonder if he'd said the wrong thing.
"I think it's time we went home, don't you?" He unwound the leash and stepped away. It fell in a silver arc between them. Was Hakkai really expecting him to be pulled along on a leash?
"Like-- like this?"
"Alternatively, I'm sure there are plenty of others inside who would be delighted to keep you company, Gojyo," he added.
Yeah, he was, apparently. His smile made Gojyo shiver and when he tugged, making the metal chain jingle, Gojyo stepped forward without thinking. Hakkai's fingers were clenched and shaking, his knuckles white.
"Okay," Gojyo said, then raised the hand that held the leash and kissed it. It was worth it to see Hakkai's wide eyed expression. He looked almost alarmed.
Hakkai walked close to him on the way home, shoulder to shoulder, so that a passer by might not have noticed anything odd. Hakkai's profile was calm and relaxed and from time to time he'd turn his head and smile.
"All right, Gojyo?"
"Yeah," Gojyo said.
He was surprisingly all right. The long chain fell across his bare chest and disappeared into Hakkai's pocket. Hakkai seemed to be taking care not to yank it and after a short while it began to seem less strange. Gojyo couldn't forget it was there: the soft rhythmical clinking raced straight down his spine. He tried not to wonder what the hell it meant that Hakkai could chain him up in public and it got him hard and aching.
But when they got home Hakkai let him go, handing him the end of his own leash. There were two high spots of colour in his cheeks and he looked down, not meeting Gojyo's eyes. Gojyo didn't know what he was expecting but it wasn't this.
"What's wrong? You mean you don't wanna-- "
--fuck me like this? his brain supplied and he had to close his eyes momentarily against the flood of heat it bought.
"Gojyo," Hakkai began, then stopped. Gojyo silently pressed the end of the leash back into Hakkai's hand and curled his fingers over it. "I don't own you," said Hakkai quietly. "You can do whatever you like."
"I know that," Gojyo said, finally. "Idiot."
Gojyo hooked one thumb in the waistband of his pants, dragging them down so that they showed more skin. It felt good to make Hakkai stare like that.
"Oh. Good," Hakkai whispered.
"So, what's the problem?" said Gojyo.
Hakkai looked up at Gojyo then and his eyes were suddenly sharp and hot, burning over Gojyo's skin. He held up the leash so it was taut between them. The collar was heavy round his neck, far heavier than it should be, or maybe he was just more aware of it. Hakkai pulled him in, hand over hand, until they were close enough to press their mouths together.
"My bed," Hakkai gasped. "Please."
"Okay," and he led the way on legs that were shaking.
Hakkai followed behind, letting the leash chain stretch between them. Once there it seemed only natural to let his knees finally give way. The length of chain scraped on the floor as Hakkai combed his fingers through Gojyo's hair, over and over as Gojyo fumbled at his zip. As Gojyo began to suck, Hakkai sighed and smoothed his hair back from his face and over his shoulders, tracing along his jaw with tender fingers. Gojyo was hit with a rush of stupid, blinding happiness.
The collar at his throat seemed more constricting like this, tighter as moved his lips down Hakkai's shaft, feeling it stretch his mouth. He groaned and took in more, curling his tongue around the head, until Hakkai pulled out of his mouth, suddenly. He dropped to his knees with a moan that sounded like pain and kissed Gojyo hard, teeth scraping his lips, hands tangling tight in his hair and breath coming too sharp, too fast. Panting, Gojyo held him back a little. It was hard, because Hakkai didn't want to stop, or couldn't.
"Shit. Wait," he gasped, getting his arms round Hakkai's neck. "Slow down," he said. Hakkai was shaking against him, arms crushingly tight. "Hakkai," he said, pressing their foreheads together.
Hakkai nodded, eyes shut. He was silent for a long, breathless moment. Gojyo listened to his alarm clock ticking on the bedside table, and to the thudding of his own heart and Hakkai's harsh-sounding breaths. "I want you so much," Hakkai murmured, eventually. It was almost too quiet to hear. It could easily have got lost in the dimly lit room with its faint sounds. "So much."
"I know," Gojyo said, surprising himself, because he thought that he really did. Maybe always had.
"You don't need this," Hakkai went on, louder, and he reached out and scrabbled for the buckle. "I'm sorry. I should never have-- "
"Don't," Gojyo said, pulling Hakkai's hands away before he could even get the buckle open. He didn't want to lose it. "I want it, okay?" Gojyo kissed him again, taking it slow. He cupped Hakkai's dick in one hand and stroked, easy and light until Hakkai was melting into him and making soft pleased noises. "I like it."
"Oh Gojyo," said Hakkai softly.
He didn't know who rose first, him or Hakkai, but they were pulling each other up, Hakkai's arms wrapped tight round him, and they almost fell the few steps to the bed, tumbling together in a tangle of arms and legs and hot, messy kisses. Hakkai had to unhook the leash from his wrist to get his shirt off. Gojyo pushed his pants down and Hakkai pulled his boots off. Clothes and shoes ended up tangled on the floor in a heap and then Hakkai was naked and kneeling over him, watching him, one hand wrapped round his own cock, the other searching for and finding the end of the leash once more. He wrapped it round his fist, shifting it so it snaked in a thin silver line over Gojyo's chest, down over his stomach, curling on cold loops over his stiff cock.. Hakkai reached down and slid his thumb through the fluid at the tip, then put it to his mouth and sucked.
"What-- what do you want?" Gojyo asked, unable to stop staring.
Hakkai's eyes were dark. "You," he said, stroking himself.
"Yeah? Good," Gojyo breathed.
"And I want you to turn over," Hakkai said.
Gojyo squirmed onto his stomach, mouth dry. He heard the clink of chain as Hakkai picked up the leash, felt the pull at his throat as Hakkai tugged gently, pulling him to his hands and knees. His cock pressed against Gojyo's ass. It felt enormous: thick and hot and hard. The collar slid up his neck, digging in under his chin and making it harder to breathe, just a little.
"Ah-- it's tight," Gojyo gasped.
"I like you like this," Hakkai said, softly, rubbing himself against Gojyo, but he loosened his grip a little.
He pushed himself back, felt the strain as Hakkai shortened the leash, pulling his head up. He breathed deep, dizzy with it. Hakkai slid his palm along Gojyo's shaft, stroking up and down, then dragged his nails lightly across his tight balls. Gojyo bit his lip but couldn't keep quiet. The soft, hoarse moans he was making sounded just like Fumi as he'd fucked her. Just like her. Hakkai draped himself over Gojyo's back and pressed his lips to Gojyo's ear.
"May I fuck you, please, Gojyo?" Hakkai whispered, pulling Gojyo's head back further, still very gentle, but unstoppable. The head of his cock nudged over Gojyo's hole, then slipped hot between his thighs, pressing against his balls. His spit-wet finger slid in, opening him up. "May I?" Hakkai breathed, pulling the leash tighter.
Gojyo was sure he could hear a breath of laughter in Hakkai's voice. Hakkai's finger started to move, in and out in an achingly slow tease.
"Yeah. Yeah, please," he said.
"Stay like that," Hakkai said.
Gojyo waited, head down and eyes closed, trying to breathe slow. Moments later Hakkai was back and Gojyo could hear the slick going on, then cool fingers slipping inside him, going fast and deep, stealing the breath from his lungs. It was almost too much. He didn't give Gojyo time to get his breath before he was sinking in. Gojyo pressed his face to the sheets and moaned, loud, his mouth open. He dug his fingers into the bedclothes, nearly wanting to crawl away.
"Gojyo," Hakkai said, in a soft, shaky voice. "You'd better not move, or I'm going to come very quickly. I don't want that."
Hakkai stayed still and Gojyo began to tremble. Hakkai was pulsing inside him. He could feel it. He didn't dare move. Instead he just tried to breathe, letting his muscles relax, letting himself feel. Hakkai ran a hand along his spine, slow and warm.
"Touch yourself," he whispered.
He could hardly wait. Balanced on one hand, Hakkai, pressed tight, skin to skin, he curled his palm around himself and began to stroke, quick and fast. The chain was digging into his hip were Hakkai was gripping too tight, but Hakkai was saying his name and moving faster, rocking into him and curving down over his body.
He gave a faint moan as Hakkai stretching him wider, sinking in to the hilt and holding there, tight and hard and hot, deep inside. Gojyo let go of his aching cock and reached further, cupping Hakkai's balls, then sliding his fingers up to where he was sunk into Gojyo's body. He squeezed him tight.
"Gojyo. Gojyo," Hakkai said, and his voice was suddenly high and strained.
At the sound of it, desperate and needy, Gojyo clamped his hand back round his cock and began to jerk himself, hard. He was too hot, burning up with it inside as Hakkai began to move, holding him down now and fucking him in short, hard merciless strokes.
Gojyo gave in and collapsed face down, burning cheek pressed to cool sheets, fingers of one hand scrabbling at the pillows as Hakkai adjusted his grip, shifting closer and driving him into the bed, his hips moving wildly until Gojyo couldn't think, could hardly breathe, could only feel Hakkai and the collar round his throat, Hakkai's collar that he'd bought only for Gojyo, so Gojyo knew who to come home to.
He opened his eyes wide and spurted into his own slick palm, sweet and so sharp, almost painful. Hakkai's hand curled tight round his collar and the other buried itself in Gojyo's hair, holding him in place as Hakkai fucked him, saying his name low and hot, shoving in until he came, hard, wrapping his arms round Gojyo's chest, face pressed to his neck as his cock pulsed inside him.
They rocked together and the sound of their slowing breath filled the room. Hakkai slipped out of him after what seemed like a very long time, although Gojyo couldn't be sure because his brain didn't seem to be working very well. They collapsed onto the blankets, Hakkai pressed to his back, warm and heavy, until Gojyo's eyes were closing and he was on the edge of sleep. He didn't want to though, not yet. And anyhow, he was uncomfortably sticky.
Hakkai's hands loosened and stroked over his back and arms, feather light as if he was worried Gojyo might notice. Those soft touches on his neck must be Hakkai's lips, Gojyo thought. The metal chain was skin-warm now. It was draped over his back, curling down between them. He smiled to himself.
Hakkai's fingers tugged carefully at the buckle for a few moments and Gojyo sighed when it came free. It made a faint metallic clink on the wood as Hakkai placed the collar and leash carefully on the nightstand. His neck felt bare without it, until Hakkai's fingers carefully traced the heated path where it had been. He turned over.
"I'm sorry," Hakkai said, sounding so concerned that Gojyo had to smile.
"What for?"
Hakkai's hands flattened on his chest, warming him.
"It really does suit you, you know," Hakkai said, after a few moments.
"Yeah," said Gojyo. "It does."
no subject
Date: 2006-08-05 04:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-09 01:00 pm (UTC)