louiselux | Saiyuki/Batman crossover of doom part four

Fandom: Saiyuki
Title: Saiyuki/Batman crossover of doom part four
Rating: worksafe, R for violence
Pairing: Hakkai/Gojyo
Notes: Many thanks to

new_kate and

emungere for beta and comments.

My squee knows no bounds:

cmda_alexanda has done some absolutely gorgeous art of Gojyo here, and then she did more, this time of Butler!Hakkai and Gojyo here.

part one, part two, part three

Sanzo stared at the coffee machine. It was blinking at him. No coffee was coming out of it.

'Hakkai!'

No one appeared at his elbow, even though he waited, drumming his fingers on the counter. His butler had been missing all morning, and it wasn't like him.

The door to Goku's room was shut and even though it was past 9am, late as far as Sanzo was concerned, there was no sound within. Sanzo hammered on it hard. It was tempting to just kick it in but he restrained himself. He couldn't cope with a sulky teenager as well as a missing butler.

'Whuzzit?' came Goku's voice, after a lengthy pause.

'Hakkai. Have you seen him?'

'No.

'At all?'

'No. Not since last night. Leave me alone. I'm not talking to you.'

Sanzo turned away, then heard the door open behind him. Goku's face was still smeared with last night's eyeliner.

'Sanzo, wait,' and then he yawned, hugely. 'Um, is Hakkai okay?' he asked. Worry made his eyes very round. 'There's nothing wrong, is there?'

'I hope not. I don't know.'

The Joker was back and was apparently more ruthless than ever, judging by last night's attack. Hakkai had more reasons that most to want to finish him. Hakkai's smile lately had a raw edge that reminded Sanzo of when he'd first found him, covered in gore up to his elbows and smiling like a loon. Then that idiot Sha had stumbled into their lives, disturbing all those carefully buried memories. Hakkai hadn't been okay for weeks. Sanzo knew he should've seen the signs. He had seen them, but he'd just hoped things would settle back down.

'On a scale of one to ten, how worried are you?' said Goku, chewing a nail.

They looked at each other for a moment and Sanzo said nothing.

'I'll get dressed then,' Goku said, alert and serious now.

'Meet me in the cave.'

The boy really was growing up. But not too fast, Sanzo wished on his way downstairs. He had no idea who he was wishing to.

There was something wrong. Some annoying thing was happening nearby, a loud rhythmical noise. Gojyo groaned and clutched his head. Brilliant morning sunlight squinted through the blind and fell in stripes across the covers. He lay on his back and let yesterday's events flood back; clear, bewildering images of the Catboys, the fire in the club, Hakkai kneeling in front of him, kissing him, touching him. Leaving. He should never have let him go. That last thought was clear and precise and gave him a cold, spreading numbness in his stomach. Gojyo jerked upright, shook his head and launched himself at the phone. It might be him.

'Hakkai?'

'I hate to do this.'

'Aw, fuck. It's you.' Gojyo flopped back on the bed. 'Do what?' he asked.

'Talk to you.'

'Ah, screw you, Batfink. You phoned me.'

'Is Hakkai with you?'

'No. Why, he's not with you?'

'Do you ever use your brain? If he was why would I bother talking to you?'

The bad feeling coalesced into a heavy cold sickness in the pit of his stomach. He heard Sanzo sigh on the other end of the line.

'Sanzo, what's going on?'

'How did he seem last night?'

Like one horny butler. 'Uh. Actually he was kind of upset.'

'Did he mention anything unusual, at all?'

'If you mean, did he spill the beans about the psycho years, yeah.'

'And?'

'And what? Everyone fucks up, makes mistakes.'

'It was a lot more than a mistake.'

'Yeah, well. I'm not setting myself up as judge. I'm no angel.'

'That's obvious to anyone with half an eye.'

'What is your problem? All I mean is it didn't change what I felt about him.' Gojyo had no idea why he was saying all this.

Sanzo sniffed in that particularly annoying way. 'And what's that?'

'None of your friggin' business.'

'Hmmph. Okay.'

'Okay what?

'Okay you can help me find him.'

'He's not with Gojyo,' Sanzo said, fitting his gun into his belt. Rope, torch, tracking device, ankle knife, rounds of ammo. It was only when he closed the steel door of his weapons case that he noticed one of his guns was gone, a small Smith and Wesson he rarely used. His shoulders sagged.

'Gojyo?' Goku said, eyes popping. 'Why would he be with Gojyo?'

There was little doubt about where he'd gone now. Sanzo had planned to spend the weekend perhaps doing a little gardening, maybe some light reading. He really didn't want to spend his weekend rescuing Hakkai from a suicide mission.

'Ah. Never mind. They're friends,' he said as they jumped in the Jeep. 'Hurry up.'

'Friends?' Goku squeaked. 'Our butler is friends with Gojyo? You never tell me anything.'

'Shut up and buckle in.'

Goku glared at him for a few moments, then huffed out a dramatic sigh. 'So, where do you think Hakkai is?' he said, fumbling with the belt.

'My guess is he's gone to visit an old acquaintance.'

'Oh,' Goku sank back with relief. 'That's okay then.'

'What? I mean the Joker, you nit.'

'Oh, fuck.'

'And no swearing. I can guess who you picked that up from.'

Sanzo revved the engine and stamped on the accelerator. They squealed out of the cave and bounced on to the rough back road, spitting loose chippings and mud behind them. Sanzo guessed they didn't have much time. Hakkai must've left last night, after taking Gojyo home.

Fifteen minutes later they were dodging through the back streets that led to Gojyo's apartment block. Gojyo was waiting outside, dressed head to toe in black leather and eye-wateringly conspicuous in the bright sunshine. He was fiddling with the chain coiled on his belt, attaching things to it, but at least he wasn't wearing his ridiculous high-heeled boots. These ones were flat and had vicious looking steel toe caps and far too many buckles.

Goku stared.

'What?' Gojyo said, jumping into the back seat.

'Hi,' Goku said. 'Um. Nice to see you again.' He stared some more.

'Goku,' Sanzo said, warningly.

'It's just, I never got your autograph-- '

'Shut up,' Sanzo barked. 'This is a serious mission. I've no time for your stupidity.'

'Do you know where he is?' Gojyo asked, leaning forward. 'Is he okay?'

'Assuming you mean Hakkai, yes and almost certainly no.'

Gojyo's eyes met his in the mirror. 'I'm thinking he's gone to get that Joker asshole, the one who offed his woman,' Gojyo said. 'Finish what he started.'

Sanzo nodded. 'In a tactless nutshell. I agree.'

'So where's the Joker? Do you know?'

'His thugs got chatty last night when I was standing on their kneecaps. I'm sure he's hiding in a warehouse down by the old cattle yards. And Hakkai knows that.'

'Why?' said Goku.

'Because I told him,' Sanzo muttered, not looking at them.

'Well that was a friggin' stupid thing to do. Anyone with half a brain could see that he wanted to-- ' Gojyo stopped, perhaps fully realising for the first time what it was that Hakkai had gone to do.

'You could've followed him last night. Why did you let him leave? This is your fault. Again.'

'No way. I didn't know he was gonna run off on me,' Gojyo said. 'I didn't think he was suicidal,' he said, more quietly.

Sanzo caught his gaze in the mirror. He wondered if Gojyo was aware of his own expression. It told Sanzo far too much.

'Are you flattering yourself?'

'Maybe I am,' Gojyo said. He rubbed at his temples as if he had a headache. 'What we gonna do, Sanzo?' he said.

'Go there, break in, get Hakkai, get out,' Sanzo said. 'Any questions?'

''Yeah, how-- ' Goku began.

'If so, tough shit.'

The gun was tucked into Hakkai's coat pocket and it bumped against his hip as he walked. It was very unlikely that Sanzo had missed him, or it, yet. He realised he'd forgotten to fill the coffee machine.

Dawn was breaking, the dark grey light turning misty blue and gold as the sun rose over the river and its banks, scattered with grimy warehouses and abandoned stockyards. This area was a tangle of disused, red brick factories jammed together on cramped back streets, each one wandering down to the docks. The streets were empty and unkempt with ancient smashed glass and car tires.

He crept along, keeping close to the rough brick sides of the buildings as the shadows disappeared. Just because he couldn't see anyone, it didn't mean that no one was watching. Empty black windows stared down at him as he dodged past their sightless glare.

He was near them. The Joker's presence prickled under his skin like the soft twitch of spider legs. He ducked into an alleyway and listened, hard. Across the street came the tinkle of broken glass, the crunch and grind as it was crushed under a boot. Hakkai leaned his head against cool brick and closed his eyes, seeing her face and then Gojyo's, fierce and unguarded as Hakkai took him in his mouth. He touched his lips, remembering. 'I'm sorry,' he whispered. Gojyo would do better without him.

It didn't take long to creep across the road into the building. A battered metal door opened onto a vast factory floor filled with rusting machinery and the faint iron stink of ancient guts and dried blood. Giant hoppers stood empty mouthed, and rows of cattle hooks, their points black and dull, hung from the ceiling on rust red chains.

Seven men were seated at a trestle, laying cards down and drinking coffee from flasks. Hakkai ran up on light feet, blood pulsing. This was it. They turned out to be very surprised to be disturbed by such a mild mannered young man. Their surprise quickly turned into dismay at having a non-fatal but painful gunshot wound each. He ran through the factory and found one more at a cracked urinal in the men's room. He was kind enough to tell Hakkai that the Joker was up on the second floor before he fell unconscious. Hakkai was sick of death: there was only one person he wanted to watch die like a dog.

A staircase led up, and he followed it, pushing through a pair of creaking fire doors at the top to find himself in a corridor with darkened offices running along both sides. The air smelled of mould and damp, an earthy basement smell. Wrinkled grey carpeting squelched under his feet as he moved.

'Hello there,' a voice said.

Fluorescent lights flickered on above his head with a hum and a ticking noise as they filled with light. At the end of the corridor stood a man in a lab coat. He was smiling, with his hands stuck in his pockets, as if he were taking a relaxing break from his desk job. His voice rang in Hakkai's ears, obscenely cheerful. 'I've been waiting for you. I recognised your work downstairs, you know. Nice. Efficient. I like that.'

Bile rose in Hakkai's throat, scalding acid inside him. He breathed slow, forcing calm as he reloaded his gun.

'I've come to kill you,' he said.

'Hmm. In that case I suppose I'd better try and stop you,' said the man.

Hakkai raised the gun and fired. The shot bellowed in his ears and he staggered backwards. The man was gone, as quiet and fast as if he'd never been there. Hakkai forced himself to move, his feet silent as he paced down the hall, every nerve screaming at him to run away, far and quickly. Stale air gusted out of the offices. He checked each on as he passed: all were populated with battered desk and several sad grey filing cabinets, their contents long since nibbled and shredded into nests by generations of mice. The air was sour with the combined smell of their droppings and rotten wood. At the end of the corridor he found a door, incongruously clean and freshly painted. On it hung a sign that read 'Do Not Disturb' in jaunty letters. Hakkai kicked it open.

'Hey, you found me,' the Joker said. He sat at his desk, gently swivelling his chair to and fro. Hakkai could see a pen in his top pocket that had leaked a blue stain on his breast. His hair was unkempt and he was pale, as if he'd been away from sunlight for a very long time. On his desk stood a computer monitor covered in post-it notes, a cup of coffee and a grey telephone. It was ringing. 'Clever boy. I was hoping you'd come back, you know.'

This room was vast, and so white that Hakkai had to squint after the darkness of the hall. It was some sort of laboratory. Nearby a machine was beeping, a steady, soft noise that reminded Hakkai of hospitals.

They stared at each other. Hakkai raised his gun. 'Don't you want to answer that before you die?' he said, nodding at the telephone.

'But, what if it's my dear Mother, calling to ask about my health? Shall I tell her I'm about to be gunned down in icy cold blood?'

'I don't care. I don't believe you ever had one.'

'You can tell yourself that, can't you? You're good at lying.'

'Shut up.'

'You and your sister both were, I assume. She was very strong, like yourself. I collected some quite remarkable genetic material from her. As I hope to do with you,' he said, with a smile. 'I want you, bits of you, in my collection. Maybe, in a sense, you can be together again,' he said.

Hakkai's finger tightened on the trigger. He didn't know why he wasn't pulling it. He saw her face in front of his eyes. He could see her clearly, her soft yellow hair and smiling mouth, could almost smell her and feel her in his arms, just like the last time they'd been together, before she'd been taken. The phone was still ringing. The Joker leaned over and hooked the receiver from its cradle.

'Hello? Oh, yes. He's here with me. Do you want to speak to him?' The Joker held the phone out. 'It's for you. She's very insistent.'

'S-she? Who?' The floor seemed to tip beneath his feet and he could hardly get the words out.

'Your sister.'

What was he saying? Hakkai couldn't understand.

'No. No, she's dead. You killed her.' It couldn't be otherwise.

'I know. She keeps calling me though. Wish she'd stop. She's a terrible conversationalist.' The Joker waggled the phone and Hakkai saw the chewed end of the cable hanging in mid air, long ago gnawed through. 'Still, all the same, she wants to speak to you.'

'Gonou. Gonou, finally,' her voice whispered, a metallic croak on a crackling, barely heard line. 'Save me. It hurts so much, Gonou.' The hair rose on every inch of Hakkai's body and he shuddered with a wave of freezing sweat. Kanan's voice made his ear itch and burn, like there was something living trapped inside. He held the receiver further away, but he heard her just the same. 'Gonou, save me…' and then it stopped and the receiver was silent, not even the hiss of the line.

He dropped it and it clattered on the tiles. It was just a cheap bit of plastic.

'She hung up on you? Tch. Women are such sticklers. They like a man to be on time, Gonou,' The Joker said, leaning back. His smile was pleasant and mild.

That gun roared in Hakkai's hand and as it did something hit him hard in the stomach. Hakkai flew backwards and fell, his head cracking on the tiles. He gasped for air, unable to breathe, feeling wet stickiness under his head and Kanan's voice, hissing and crackling in his ear. Gonou. He hadn't seen the Joker move at all, but there he was, standing over him. The Joker kicked his wrist hard, sending the gun clattering away across the hard white tiles. He scrambled back but his hands slipped in blood. The toe of his boot managed to connect hard with bone.

'That's not very nice,' the man said, not smiling anymore. 'Keep still. This won't hurt a bit.'

A syringe jabbed into his arm. The last thing he saw was the Joker crouching over him, his face blank.

'Drive faster,' Gojyo said.

'I'm going as fast as I can,' Sanzo said.

'Let me drive,' Goku said, urgently.

'No,' they both said.

They tore along the dock road towards Smith's abattoir. It hadn't been in use for years, not since the last time the Joker had been in town. Body parts had been discovered in tins of dog meat: the owner had shot himself and the Joker had vanished from the city after they found his lab and the experiments he'd conducted there. Sanzo remembered the police inspector on the case vomiting in the gutter outside. Not one of his creations had survived.

'What do you think the Joker's doing in there?' Gojyo said. He was sitting right on the edge of his seat, his elbows braced on the back of the seats in front. His fingers pattered a non-stop of rhythm on the leather.

'Something appalling, no doubt,' Sanzo said. 'And stop nudging me.'

He just wanted some time to think. Hakkai was in there, almost certainly, and getting him out wasn't going to be easy, whatever state he was in and whatever they found.

'It might be messy in there,' he said, quietly.

The only question was, by Hakkai's hand or by the Joker's? But he didn't think Hakkai was a match for him, not really. Gojyo caught his eye in the mirror again and just nodded.

'So, are we going to get the Joker for good this time?' Goku said. 'He's crazy. He needs locking up for good, I say.'

'That depends,' Sanzo said.

'On what?'

'On whether we let him live.'

Hakkai opened his eyes and frowned. Everything was so white and clean, even the ceiling tiles. He stared up at them, trying to remember where he was. Straps on his arms and legs tightened as he flexed his muscles, wanting to sit up.

'Wuh?' he managed. His mouth was acting strangely. His tongue was too heavy and his lips wouldn't move.

'I just didn't want to be eviscerated,' the Joker said, and stuffed a wad of cotton wool in his mouth. 'Because that's what I'm going to do to you.'

He had a mask over his mouth and his spectacles glinted in the light that shone overhead, a large dished shape with many lamps, just the sort of thing you saw in an operating theatre. Hakkai heard the delicate rattle of steel on steel and smelled disinfectant; his limbs all at once became loose and heavy with fear, as if he'd been flooded with ice water. His stomach clenched in on itself and he wondered blindly if Kanan's last moments had been like this too. As he jerked upwards the straps tightened even more but he thrashed until he was sweating and panting and the straps were biting in hard enough to draw blood. The Joker watched.

'Mmmph!'

'Sorry. I need your viscera for my mutant monster. Oops, did I gave my plan away? They're coming out whether you like it or not, so keep still and be quiet. Or not. It doesn't really matter,' and he lowered the knife, slicing one long endless stoke into Hakkai's abdomen. There was no chance to struggle then, or even think.

Hot, slicing pain, ripping him open. Shards of pain, like ice and needles that sang through him from the tips of his hair, in his teeth and eyes and ears, down along every shrieking nerve and vein. It wasn't supposed to be like this: the lone last thought rang out clearly, as if someone had spoken it. It wasn't supposed to end like this, it said, again. Don't Die. Not with these hands on you, like they were on her. He wished he could see Gojyo again, just once. He tried to picture his face but it vanished, hopelessly and forever as metal prised his flesh open. He convulsed, back arching off the slab like a caught fish, desperate to suck the last of its life from the air. His teeth crashed together, connecting, and he bit down until his jaw creaked. Very dimly, in the bright white glare, he heard screaming.

The Jeep skidded to a stop, skewing sideways outside a building that had its windows boarded up.

'Goku - you know what to do?'

'Yeah!' Goku said, nodding. He clenched his fists, his face pale and determined and still bearing faint traces of eye make-up and the blue shadows caused by the night before. He really was growing up. 'Get Hakkai, get out.'

'Leave the Joker to me. Let's go,' Sanzo said.

'Wait, hey, what do I do?' Gojyo said, scrambling after them.

'Just don't get killed. I expect we'll probably need you later.'

They followed the sound of groaning and discovered a heap of men who appeared to be in various states of agony, scattered with playing cards and decorated with the shattered remains of a trestle table.

'Hakkai did this,' Sanzo said.

'This place is so creepy. What's the Joker want to hang round in an abattoir for anyway?' said Goku.

'Who cares,' Gojyo said, vaguely. 'Uh. Upstairs,' he said, then, whipping round. He leapt away from them and skidded across the concrete floor. 'Now!' he yelled back at them.

'Wait, you moron,' Sanzo said, racing behind him to keep up, but Gojyo's long legs were carrying him up the stairs three at a time, far faster than Sanzo could go.

'No way. I know he's up there, I just kn-- '

And then they heard the scream. It was high and broken and terrifying. They crashed through a set of doors and charged down the corridor three abreast. Gojyo ploughed through a locked white door at the end, battering it with two powerful slams of his shoulders, his black hair dancing with the force of it.

'Find Hakkai,' Sanzo yelled at Goku, as the piled through. They dashed through the lab, kicking aside trolleys, screens and wheeled items of machinery that beeped frantically at them.

It wasn't hard to find him. They followed the awful guttural sounds until they saw the slicks of blood spreading in dark glistening pools across the floor. Blood soaked the table he lay on and dripped thickly down its steel legs. Sanzo could see there was something very wrong with his stomach.

'Hey,' a voice said. 'Good of you to show at last. I was thinking you'd all decided he wasn't worth the effort.'

It was Gojyo who moved first, before Sanzo could stop him, even before Goku had time to react. He spun round and his chain whipped out in a glittering arc and Sanzo saw what it was he'd put on it: blades, like rows of tiny metal teeth.

'What did you do to him?' Gojyo screamed, as they bit into the Joker's flesh. Blood sprayed across the floor and splattered Gojyo's face..

'Ow.' The Joker had a gaping red wound where Sanzo realised his left ear should've been. 'You're a bad cat. ' He flung his hand out and Gojyo smashed into the wall behind Sanzo, choking out a cry as he fell.

'Goku, no,' Sanzo said, as Goku leapt forward. There wasn't time for this. Hakkai's groans were fading. 'Don't.'

'I've got to,' Goku cried out. He flung himself at the Joker, but met with nothing and fell skidding on his face.

The Joker skipped away, unharmed, as Sanzo stared. He was faster than anything human, quicker even than Goku. Much faster than he'd been before. Sanzo dragged Goku up by the collar. Goku struggled and shoved at him, wrestling himself away.

'Don't stop me!' He was almost weeping with frustration. 'He tried to kill me last night. He did that to Hakkai.'

'There isn't time,' Sanzo said, urgently. 'We've got a choice, Goku. We can't do this now.'

'Look, you're obviously busy, I've got things to do too,' the Joker called, watching them from a distance. 'Let's catch up later, okay? '

'Leave. Next time we meet you'll die.' Sanzo said, turning to him.

The Joker nodded thoughtfully. 'I don't think so. Look after your wonder boy, there. He's an interesting young fellow.'

Sanzo snarled and lashed out before he'd even considered it, wire swirling out around him. It was strong enough to bring down almost any sort of creature, natural or otherwise, but the Joker had already gone before it had even hit, leaving a skein of silvery mesh to fall to the ground.

'Open up,' someone was saying. His jaw hurt. So did his teeth. A thick, iron taste was lodged at the back of his throat and someone was squeezing his mouth. He shook his head. 'Open your mouth,' the voice said, again, and it was harsh and commanding. Fingers pressed into the tender spots just behind his jaw and he tried to complain about that, but could only suck in a great gasp of air. Fingertips swiped between his lips, tugging something rubbery away.

'Ewww,' he heard someone mutter. 'Is that the Joker's entire ear?'

'Can you sew him up?' someone else said. It was a voice he should know, soft and low like the sea washing against sand. It buzzed pleasantly in his ears.

'He looks kinda dead.'

'Shut the fuck up,' he heard, and then there was the brush of something soft and warm on his face.

'Don't die,' the voice murmured, close to his ear. 'Please.'

'Get off him, pervert. His guts are still hanging out,' and then there was more pain, and everything was dark.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

lisa-bee.livejournal.com

Owwwwwwwww.

From:

lisa-bee.livejournal.com

By which I mean, oh no, what happens next, eeek.

Also, is the Joker Shin Yisou or Nii Jiyeni? (I just know I'm spelling those so totally wrong...)

But mostly eeeeeeek