Fic: The one where Sanzo has a haircut

[louiselux]

For emungere, in the hope that she'll write the Ranma/Saiyuki crossover of doom.

More than slightly silly fic snippet:


The Haircut



'Not too good at cutting straight lines, are you?'

Sanzo surveyed Goku and Gojyo, who both flinched as he swept his critical gaze over their heads: one spiky brown like the ruffled fur of an angry bear and the other wild red and hanging in thick uneven strands.

Jeep sat on the table, shaking his new short summer mane. It was only roughly the same length all over. He let out a plaintive squeak and fluttered off to the top of the wardrobe.

Bits of hair, red and brown and white, were scattered on the floor at Hakkai's feet.

'Well, perhaps. But it keeps the hair looking very healthy. And of course it doesn't get in their eyes to bother them.'

'My hair doesn't get in my eyes,' said Sanzo, pushing the infuriating stuff away to make it true.

'Well, it also doesn't dangle in their soup.'

'Don't be an idiot. My hair does not get in my soup. Unlike his.'

'Is this a bit of noodle I can see stuck in here?' Gojyo said, leaning in and picking up a blond strand between his fingers.

'Get off.' Sanzo batted his hand away.

'Or get singed by lighters,' Hakkai went on.

'I really hate the smell of burning hair,' Goku noted, thoughtfully, and then, 'Can someone help me get all this hair out of my shirt?'

'And no split ends, I think you'll discover. It'll be smooth and neat.'

Gojyo tossed his hair so it caught the light. It was remarkably shiny and soft-looking. Sanzo hesitated.

'Hmph.'

Hakkai quickly held up a towel and his hairdressing scissors, beaming. 'Everything's all ready for you. It won't hurt a bit. I promise not to snip your ears off.'

'That's worrying coming from you,' Sanzo muttered, but he sat down and let Hakkai drape the towel round his neck. 'Be quick.'

'Whatever you say, Sanzo. Now, just relax.'

*

snik

snik

snik

Something was happening, he was sure, something he was supposed to be paying attention to, but he couldn't find the energy to open his eyes. He drifted half awake, his limbs warm and heavy. Something cool touched his neck, metal pressing gently and carefully. Not sharp, but infinitely soothing, much like the fingers that pulled through his hair and pressed gently on his scalp. Fingertips brushed his face and he pressed into the touch as they moved his head this way and that, liking how they lingered on his skin. He wanted them to stay longer but they went, trailing one last time through his hair to land lightly on his shoulder.

'Finished,' Hakkai said in his ear.

'Whuzzah?'

'Oh. Did you doze off?'

'Of course not,' Sanzo said, sitting up straight and wiping away a tell-tale bit of drool.

The haircut. He put a hand up to his hair. There there were no spiky, singed ends and absolutely no trace of soup. In the mirror he could see his own sleepy looking eyes gazing back. It was quite wonderful to see clearly for the first time in years. But he hadn't meant to fall asleep at all. Worse, he realised he was horribly relaxed and through no fault of his own.

'What did you do to me?' he demanded.

'I simply gave you a haircut.'

'Bah. It's all right, I suppose.'

Gojyo looked over from his newspaper. 'You talk in your sleep, you know.'

'I wasn't asleep... what did I say?'

'Don't stop, don't stop. It feels so niiice.'

'Pervert. Liar. I would never say that. It's so ridiculous I can't even be bothered to shoot you.'

'He's good, isn't he,' Gojyo said. 'Not just your average barber.'

'I've no idea what you're talking about.'

'Wait a minute, Hakkai,' said Goku. 'So who cuts your hair?'

'Oh, that's a good point for you. Even I never thought of that. Hey, Hakkai, so who cuts the hairdresser's hair? It's like one of those riddles.'

'Moron,' said Sanzo.

'Er... I do it myself,' Hakkai said hurriedly, shoving the scissors into his bag.

'That shows,' Sanzo said, but without much bile. He couldn't seem to summon up enough anger for some reason and anyway, his own fringe was straight. More or less. 'And what're you doing now?'

Hakkai swept up the hair trimmings into a shiny multicoloured pile and then began scooping them into a bag.

'You keep it?' Goku said. 'What for?'

'Of course. There's no point in wasting it. I'm going to stuff a commemorative cushion. I thought Jeep could use it for a bed.'

'Is that even hygenic?' Gojyo said, frowning.

Sanzo dragged himself over to his bed and pulled the covers over his head and his new, short, comfortable haircut. 'Remind me to shoot you all when I wake up.'

Comments

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Hee! Quite.

Glad you enjoyed it:)