Ridiculous WK ficlet for Daegaer

[louiselux]

daegaer is scrum-diddly-umptious and I now have a whole year of paid time:)  Thank you so much and by the way did you know fake tan experiments and Schuldig do not go well together? 



Schuldig's pale Northern European skin glowed eerily in the bright summer sun, forcing onlookers to don protective eyewear and scaring small children. He insisted they went to Bali at once, but Crawford refused on the grounds that he couldn't stand the clash of lobster red with the particular shade of Schuldig's hair. Farfarello objected on the grounds of Schuldig's swimming thong. Nagi just objected.  So Schuldig took action.

'What the hell?'  Crawford lowered the paper he was scanning. 'Have you been at the fake tan again?'

'Shut it, Crawford.'

'You do know that your skin's the same colour as your hair?'

'Okay. So it's a shade more intense than I wanted.'

'Yes, I prefer a lighter shade of tangerine on you,' Crawford said. 'Although it's an improvement on last summer's Burns Victim Red,' he went on. The side of his mouth twitched.

'Bastard. It's this fucking cheap own-brand stuff! I knew I should have gone for the St Tropez treatment. It's the best one. Angelina Jolie has it done, you know.'

'Oh. Right,' Crawford went back to his paper.

Schuldig stormed out, slamming the door on the sound of Crawford's laughter. He had a strong urge to torture someone. Preferably someone with a nice healthy tan.

Comments

[hungry-worm.livejournal.com]

"'Yes, I prefer a lighter shade of tangerine on you,' Crawford said."

*SNERK*

You sum it all up. I agree. I laugh. And now I'll flee from Schuldig's wrath (even though I surely have no healthy tan) *runs off cackling*

[cygny.livejournal.com]

Awww, poor Schuldig and mean Crawford. Now Schuldig not only turned red, but that without an exotic vacation to Bali at that :P

*giggles* This was nice :D

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

::snicker::

[toscas-kiss.livejournal.com]

'Yes, I prefer a lighter shade of tangerine on you,'

LOLOLOLOLOL. . .
My amusement knows no bounds (remembers twinny dearest doing something similar in the early 90s)

[daegaer.livejournal.com]

Ahahahaha!

Farfarello objected on the grounds of Schuldig's swimming thong. Nagi just objected.

Oh, Schuldig's delicate, tan-deprived soul! Does no one understand his needs?

Hee - this is great. Thank you!

[wildelamassu.livejournal.com]

*snerks*

[emungere.livejournal.com]

Angelina Jolie has it done, you know.

*cracks up completely*

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

:snicker:

[cicer.livejournal.com]

*dies* This is especially amusing to me, because I just started using a fake-tan product a few days ago. Schuldig should buy the Neutrogena Build-A-Tan thing I'm using. It's very subtle, which is good for those of us that are deathly pale. *shakes head sadly at Schuldig's predicament*

[bleedtoblue.livejournal.com]

"Schuldig's pale Northern European skin glowed eerily in the bright summer sun,"

A shade known as 'dead fish belly white' that I am all too familiar with. LOL

[lisa-bee.livejournal.com]

You do know that your skin's the same colour as your hair?

*cracks up*

Oh, now to go hide from the wrath of pale-and-streaky Schuldig, since I am tanning reasonably well this summer...

[fairlyironic.livejournal.com]

Poor Schuldig, I sympathize.

[swirly-ayuri.livejournal.com]

LOL! Oh well, Schu can always go stand next to Aya. He'll pale in comparison -- or, er, the other way around. ^^;;;