Writing

[louiselux]

I reread one of my latest springkink fics yesterday and discovered it wasn't as good as I thought it was. How extremely annoying of it. However, perhaps if I leave it and read it again tomorrow it will have got better again.

My brain does seem to work like this with my own stories. One day I can hardly bear to read anything of mine, and another day I can like it all again. Does this happen to anyone else? But just recently I see more and more flaws in my writing and where it could be better. Which possibly might mean I am on a learning curve, I suppose.

Comments

[wedjateye.livejournal.com]

One day I can hardly bear to read anything of mine, and another day I can like it all again. Does this happen to anyone else?

Oh yes. To a rather alarming degree. I think I am much more consistent opinion-wise wrt other people's writing.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

It is alarming. I blame it on hormones, or lack of sleep, or something. And yes, the odd thing is it is only my own writing - with everyone else I am usually very consistant.

[elyndys.livejournal.com]

That totally happens to me too. There are some stories I look back at fondly, then I actually go and *read* them again and go "This isn't very good at all!" ^^' But then I'll read it again another day and go "Hey, it's OK after all!" Which is a better feeling, but very confusing.

(Also, things you thought were way out filth at first lose their dirtiness. Which, in the case of what I'm writing atm, is a good thing, cos I was actually kind of shocked at myself, but now I've realised it's not so bad. XD)

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Come on, you have to tell me what that is now!! XD

[elyndys.livejournal.com]

Sadly it's Jpop RPS related. *hangs head in shame* My enthusiasm for turning boys into girls remains undimmed, even in the word of popslash. *slinks away*

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Heee! Let's face it, they're almost girls anyway.

[kispexi2.livejournal.com]

Does this happen to anyone else?

Only all the friggin' time! My toes curl at the thought of rereading my stuff! Although when I'm replying to comments, sometimes I'll force myself and quite like it. But normally it's the flaws that really stand out.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

I wonder why that is - why isn't it the good bits that stand out so much to us?
It really doesn't seem fair.

[kispexi2.livejournal.com]

I think it's maybe like when you get a bit of grit in the bed. You don't notice how smooth the sheets are - just how hard and uncomfortable the grit is.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

It could be a fairy story: the Fangirl and the Grit? Even through 5 chapters she could still feel that hard and lumpy paragraph...

[giving-ground.livejournal.com]

I feel like that so often, especially recently - my opinion of my writing is all over the place. Actually, writing is generally being difficult... I think I need to give myself a bit of downtime. Just as soon as I've defeated my springkink fics.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Right - defeat them! Only two days till posting starts, I see. Oh god.

[scribblemoose]

Yes, it happens to me all the time. I get into hypercritical states where I can actually paralyze myself from writing anything at all. And the flaws are all too often things that other people wouldn't even notice. (While the typos and basic grammar mistakes seem to go past my internal censor without notice. dammit.)

Only this morning I was looking at some old stuff for reference and got sad, because it was happy and playful and funny and in character, and I just can't seem to do that any more.

I hope it'll pass for both of us!

[scribblemoose]

On a more positive note, I've found reading Katie Fforde makes me feel really good about my writing. She's so crap. And so bestselling. There's hope for us all!!!

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Ahahaha!

Oh yes. I will try that! Or some Mercedes Lackey.

[toscas-kiss.livejournal.com]

Sometimes I reread them and think 'Gods, this is boring!' which doesn't do much for the ole ego. I have that problem when I'm writing too.
But other times I reread them and laugh (does that count as laughing at your own jokes?) so all is good.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

Heee, Dilbert.

I am sure it's allowed for you to laugh at your own jokes. I do it all the time.

[http://users.livejournal.com/solo____/]

I can sometimes barely make myself open my story file. Neither the stuff I consider 'done' (i.e. first-draft 'done') nor the stuff I'm currently trying to work on. I'm just convinced that I'll hate whatever I see.

There are also some lengthy passages in said 'done' file which I know now suck beyond the telling of it, and they'll definitely have to be re-done. On the other hand, sometimes I'm pleasantly surprised just how well something has come out, working exactly the way I wanted it to - at least for me. :-)

What I don't get is where I look at something one day and like it, and then hate it the next day. If it's a new piece, then distance can make a big difference, but whether it's two months or half a year doesn't really seem to change anything any more; my opinion of it 'sets' at some stage.

[louiselux.livejournal.com]

I find that distance can make a big diffence too - it really helps in being objective about a story's flaws and strong points. I like to leave a story to sit for a while if I can, to let its meaning percolate through my mind so I can come back to it and understand it better.

[vom-marlowe.livejournal.com]

Yes! I can get stuck into hypercritical mode. I blame academia and lack of chockie.

Of course, sometimes I totally forget writing something and then be shocked and pleased when I read it. It's usually the ones where I let the muse completely free that this happens. I don't feel any fuzzy warm sense of accomplishment because it doesn't feel like I wrote it.

[daegaer.livejournal.com]

I hate my stuff when I reread! And then I think it's ok-ish, and then . . . I hate it again! It just looks so stupid, when it looked kind of shiny in my head (and if I write filth, I find it doesn't get less filthy to me over time. I quite shocked myself the other day when I re-read one fic!).

Send me your springkink fics and I'll tell you they're all right! I'll send you my reluctant buggery (omg, am now thinking that looks like it should be an Agatha Christie, The Case of the Reluctant Buggery).

[inksheddings.livejournal.com]

Oh, that happens to me all the time. No clue why some days I'm ultra hard on myself and others I'm peachy keen. Usually, though, it'll be my characterizations I'll take issue with, like, "Why on earth did I think he/she/it'd behave like that?" But like you said, I might look at it again a while later and be perfectly fine with it again. I try not to think about it too hard. *g*

It's really bad, though, when it's a fic I've written for something like remix, or another challenge. It's done, sent in, but won't be posted for a while and in the meantime I'm totally wondering if I should change it here or there or everywhere.

In the end I never change anything, because my feelings really could just be the whim of the day or week, and not only that but our writing does change over time (sometimes just even over months) and so maybe it's just natural that older stories might not seem like something we'd write now, if that makes any sense.

[moshesque.livejournal.com]

One day I can hardly bear to read anything of mine, and another day I can like it all again. Does this happen to anyone else?

A thousand times yes, with almost everything I write. :) I'm never satisfied until I've got it back from my beta, and she's at the point where she's yelling "just post the damn thing!" *g*

Learning curves are good, though, and I don't think there's anything wrong with being extra picky about your own stuff. It's good exercise, if nothing else! :)

[cicer.livejournal.com]

This happens to me constantly, and it makes me very happy to see that I'm not alone in this. I really don't like rereading my own writing, since I inevitably think it sucks. I hate rereading stuff I've already posted, because I always end up going, 'Oh, good lord, I actually posted this dreck?! How embarrassing!'. I feel better now though, because I love other people's stuff, and if they think their stuff is awful, they are clearly wrong. So maybe I'm wrong too. XD

[lauand.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course. You're right, sometimes it revalorizes itself again at the second re-reading. It happens with drawings, too.

People who aren't on a learning curve are usually dead, I think.

[lady-ganesh.livejournal.com]

Oh, you're very much not alone. Sometimes I read through and go 'damn, that was nice!' and other times it's 'the hell was I thinking.'

Often in the same story.

[i-am-zan.livejournal.com]

See ... you're in good company!

So it's all good. I do it too! ^_~

[olympia-m.livejournal.com]

I do it all the time. (or is that did it?) *sigh*
In my case, I have discovered that sometimes, my reading is affected by my mood, which in turn is affected by outside circumstances. So, when I was Oh, SO TOTALLY unemployed and also feeling unemployable, I hated my writing even more than usual.

[devikun.livejournal.com]

Generally it goes like this:

Devi: OMG you're so shiny I can't wait to post you!
Fic: Yay! ♥

One week later
Devi: So, hey. How's it- OMG you SUCK. How did I ever think you were postable! I hate you.
Fic: T___T I'm sorry.

One month + later
Devi: Someone just read you and told me you were great, and I didn't believe them, so I just came to- ... Hey. You're... actually not too bad after all. How have you been?
Fic: I have flaws; but I need you to embrace them. Just think of me as a learning experience.

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Trapped in a love-hate cycle of writing, abuse and learning, that's me!