It was usually better to come at life's pleasures from an oblique angle, Hakkai thought. Far safer to sidle up to a thing rather than show it your face straight on in case one scared it away, or stopped it from happening merely by wanting it too much. Small pleasures, unthinkingly taken.
So he didn’t dwell on why he occasionally liked to buy chocolate for Gojyo to eat. It made him happy to see Gojyo's smile of genuine delight, because Gojyo loved chocolate and would make a display of how much he enjoyed eating it: sucking each piece until it melted utterly on his tongue, then licking his fingers and lips, serious concentration and then afterwards a slow curl to his lips as he said thank you.
It was sensible to give him the chocolate after dinner, when the body could digest it more readily, but that wasn't the only reason. After dinner, if there was chocolate, Gojyo would sit at the table with him, his hair tossed back over his shoulders and his shirt open and eat it bit by bit in front of him, breaking the dark, scented squares off one by one. The smell of it would fill the room and Hakkai would watch under his lashes and sip coffee and cross his legs and not think too much at all. Small pleasures indeed. Delight. How delectable that chocolate must be.
There was satisfaction in being empty, in starving oneself and going hungry, but life was not possible without something to feed on, however small.
Sometimes he took a piece of it for himself, just to revel in the melting it gave him in the pit of his stomach; not only at the sweetness but at the sight of Gojyo's mouth, sweet itself and parted, as Gojyo watched him eat it.
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It was usually better to come at life's pleasures from an oblique angle, Hakkai thought. Far safer to sidle up to a thing rather than show it your face straight on in case one scared it away, or stopped it from happening merely by wanting it too much. Small pleasures, unthinkingly taken.
So he didn’t dwell on why he occasionally liked to buy chocolate for Gojyo to eat. It made him happy to see Gojyo's smile of genuine delight, because Gojyo loved chocolate and would make a display of how much he enjoyed eating it: sucking each piece until it melted utterly on his tongue, then licking his fingers and lips, serious concentration and then afterwards a slow curl to his lips as he said thank you.
It was sensible to give him the chocolate after dinner, when the body could digest it more readily, but that wasn't the only reason. After dinner, if there was chocolate, Gojyo would sit at the table with him, his hair tossed back over his shoulders and his shirt open and eat it bit by bit in front of him, breaking the dark, scented squares off one by one. The smell of it would fill the room and Hakkai would watch under his lashes and sip coffee and cross his legs and not think too much at all. Small pleasures indeed. Delight. How delectable that chocolate must be.
There was satisfaction in being empty, in starving oneself and going hungry, but life was not possible without something to feed on, however small.
Sometimes he took a piece of it for himself, just to revel in the melting it gave him in the pit of his stomach; not only at the sweetness but at the sight of Gojyo's mouth, sweet itself and parted, as Gojyo watched him eat it.